Brushes of Loneliness
by Hilseo
Summary: Rewrite of TSPATLS. Once upon a time, there were two children who were friends. Uchiha Sasuke lost everything, and discarded what was left to seek revenge. Hatori Tsuki lost her dreams and hopes as she is forced to become a civilian bride. Slowly drowning in despair and loneliness, can their friendship survive, especially when Uchiha Itachi is the one offering to save Tsuki?
1. Before we lost it all

Chapter 1: Before we lost it all

Hello again! And welcome new readers~

There it is, the first rewritten chapter of _The Saddened Painter and the Lonely Shinobi._ It took me forever to settle on a title, nothing felt right. Feel free to say if you like it, hate it or anything.

As I said, _Brushes of Loneliness_ will be slower-paced. We'll get to see a bit more of Tsuki's life before -I'm not spoiling quite yet. And see how she goes from a bubbly, happy child to what we see in _Lonely Souls._

I switched her name to 'Tsukiko' because…it felt better. And _Nowhara_ changed to _Hatori_ because I felt it was too close to _Nohara Rin_. And I gave a bit more background to the characters, and will keep on doing so.

Enjoy~

XxxX Chapter 1: Before we lost it all XxxX

"Your kunai's not in the middle!"

"It is!"

"Is not!"

"Liar!"

The small, black-haired child frowned cutely, offended, and glared at his equally dark-haired friend.

"I'm an Uchiha! Uchihas don't lie!" The girl only stuck her tongue at him childishly.

"Doesn't mean you can't, idiot!"

"Take that back!"

"Make me!"

Cheeks flushed, the seven, nearly eight-years old Uchiha Sasuke raggedly stomped away from his friend, towards their target. In the bark of the closest tree, several circles had been crudely graved on the rough bark, in a pale imitation of a target. Several marks on the poor tree, scattered all around the circles and outside, stood as proof of the children's dedicated training; and stabbed on the edge of the innermost circle, two sharp kunais were solidly embedded in the bark. The boy huffed in irritation, and with one, angry move, he pulled one kunai free of the bark, before whirling around to face his friend, staring stupidly at the kunai in his hand.

"There!" he yelled, frustrated. "Now you see my kunai's the only one in the target!"

Hatori Tsuki only blinked in confusion. She looked at the kunai, then at her friend, then back at the kunai…and exploded into hysterical laughter, clutching her belly with her small, seven-years-old pudgy hands. Her short black hair fell over her deep blue eyes, hiding the mirth in them, while her friend's frustrated frown only deepened in both anger and confusion.

"What's so funny..?" his friend only laughed harder, tears now spilling from her eyes. Sasuke's cheeks burst in flames. "Oi, Tsuki! Stop laughing and answer me!"

"The kunai…" Tsuki eventually managed, in-between two fits of laughter. "The one you-you pulled out…" she paused, catching her breath, before erupting in a wide, blinding smile, and pointing triumphantly at the tree. "It's yours! I win!"

Sasuke blinked uncomprehendingly, before understanding dawned on him. At once, he raised the kunai at eye-level, trying to spot the Uchiha crest on the handle. The boy froze when, immediately, he caught sight of the red and white Uchiha fan. Taking advantage of his confusion, the other child slipped past him and pulled her kunai free of the bark, a teasing gleam in her beautiful, childish eyes. She said nothing, but the Uchiha boy had known her for long enough to know what her silence meant, and he did not dignify that look with an answer.

Refusing to verbally admit defeat, the Uchiha huffed and shoved his hands in his pockets before turning his back on the girl and taking the path towards his clan compound. Tsuki's smile slowly fell, and a scowl replaced it, though hers would never equal her friend in its grumpiness. Not that she'd ever say it to his face, of course. The small girl jogged forward, slipping into place beside him, matching his short strides. She crossed her small arms over her chest and huffed.

"…You're a sore loser."

"Hn. Uchihas don't lose."

"Maybe. But I still won." The Uchiha scowled and walked faster. The girl followed easily.

"I don't know why I bother with you. You're stupid."

"Takes one to know one," she sang cheerfully, spying the compound's entrance in the distance. "But I'm the best in class, and if you don't wanna be held back by someone more weak, you're stuck with me!" Her friend shrugged, glancing back at her.

"Anyone is better than you," he grumbled, but the girl didn't take it to heart. An evil glint sparkled in her eyes.

"Anyone, huh?" she paused, theatrically tapping on her lips with her fingers. Sasuke stopped as well, wondering what she was up to. She met his dark eyes, the very picture of innocence, then shrugged. "Well, you're mean to me, so maybe I'll ask Ino-san to switch partners with me." Sasuke's horrified eyes met hers.

"Kami, no! Girls are the worst!" Tsuki tilted her head to the side in mock-confusion.

"But I'm a girl, Sasuke-kuuuun! That's so meaaaaaannnnnn!"

"You're not," the boy vehemently denied, which made her pause in her silly imitation. "Girls are-they're evil. They're weird and they have long hair and they wear dresses and they always jump at me squealing and screaming and-" he paused to catch his breath, before finishing in a grumpy tone, "and you, you are…tolerable."

Tsuki sweatdropped.

"…Tolerable?"

"Tolerable," Sasuke confirmed, nodding to himself. Tsuki shook her head, a smile smile on her lips. Coming from him, her snob of a friend, the one who could barely tolerate anyone, who thought his clan was the best and nobody could compare…it meant the world. And she appreciated the compliment for what it was.

The two fell into easy conversation after this, enjoying their time together. They had known each other for so long, these two. Ever since they could walk, ever since they'd started training in the same forest. Though they could have passed as rivals to the bystanders, those who knew them well had long since learned to accept the strange friendship in-between the Uchiha clan Head's second son and the Hatori heiress. The afternoons, after attending the ninja school, they could be seen training together, playing games and competing against each other in an easy, relaxed way. And though Sasuke would never admit it to anyone, he considered the girl to be his closest friend -someone who was strong, perhaps a little less strong than he was, but much stronger than the rest of their class. The Nara brat was always napping, the blond Yamanaka only ever made strange eyes at him like all the other girls in the class, and the other boys weren't all that interested in strengthening their skills. He only hoped, when he finally made it to genin, that she'd be in his team. He didn't see himself working with anyone else.

For her part, Tsuki secretly admired her dark-haired friend. The Hatori clan had a tradition of not allowing women to become shinobi -a stupid tradition, if you asked her- which her father had recently declared void, allowing her to attend the academy. And Sasuke was the perfect example of the kind of ninja she wanted to become : cool, composed, and strong. When he wasn't being a sore loser, of course. She was definitely going to keep rubbing it in his face.

The compound's doors came into view, guarded by two tense males, though the children didn't notice it. A few years ago, the girl had been welcomed into the compound anytime, but lately, the people had started to look at her funnily whenever she came by. It creeped her out, and Sasuke, ever the observant one, had eventually noticed. They stopped a few feet away from the heavy doors, far enough so that the two guards wouldn't stare at her as though she was the plague incarnated.

She missed it, somewhat. She missed coming into the lively compound, smelling all the pastries and sweets, and seeing all the beautiful yukatas and colourful paintings. Yuki-san, the small woman from down the street, would always allow her into her house, giving her sweets and asking about her day. She'd even gifted her her first set of brushes, when she'd asked about the beautiful paintings exposed on her walls. And the days her mother had been especially mean or indifferent, the woman would always find a way to cheer her up; be it by inviting her to watch the stars on her roof, sometimes joined by Sasuke, or giving her pointers on her drawings. More than once, at night and in the privacy of her own mind, Tsuki had dreamed the beautiful, dark-haired woman with the kind eyes had been her mother. And when she'd told her about that dream, Yuki had only smiled, and told her she'd always be there for her. It made her smile when she thought about it, but lately she'd been reduced to trying to catch her whenever she left the compound to reach the market. She didn't see her as much as she used to, and it saddened her greatly.

The two children stopped a short way away from the imposing doors, away from the other Uchihas' unforgiving eyes. Tsuki turned to the boy.

"Same time, same place tomorrow?" she asked, but Sasuke shook his head.

"I can't. Ni-san promised to train with me!" The smile he gave her was so wide and blinding, she couldn't bring herself to say what she would have otherwise. _'He always says that, Sasuke. But he never does, so why do you keep on trusting someone who never keeps his promises?'_ But saying so would start another pointless argument she wouldn't win, so she let it go. She nodded her assent instead, turning away.

"See you at the academy, then."

"Bye."

Her spirits the slightest bit dampened, the young child slowly took the road back to her home, swiftly avoiding the hurrying people on the darkening streets and the yelling, busy merchants trying to sell their goods. It was quite a long way, but she didn't mind. The Uchiha compound, after the Kyuubi attack nearly eight years ago, had been rebuilt on the outskirts of Konoha, isolated from everything else, but the Hatori compound was closer to the forest marking the edge of the village, and the Hokage Tower. And while the compound had its fair share of training ground, both Sasuke's stubborn and cute Uchiha pride ("Our training grounds are the best, I tell you!") and her own desire to avoid her dark, lonely home had decided to her to walk this road everyday to join her dark-haired friend.

It wasn't easy, at home. Despite being a child, Tsuki wasn't stupid. She knew what tension looked like, knew what love was supposed to be; she could feel the first, but the second was stubbornly absent from her household. Her mother, Hatori Ayano, the matriarch, stalked the shadows of the ancient house like a wraith, watching with frighteningly sharp eye as her small kingdom turned on its axis in a well-oiled, obedient machinery. Her voice, calm and melodious but so incredibly cold, only ever rose to bark out commands or scathingly destroy some poor soul who had had the misfortune of displeasing the matriarch. And more often than not, she, her own daughter, was that poor, unfortunate soul. But Ayano couldn't be called a bad mother, not really. Her firstborn, Hatori Sora, had just been gifted a full set of kunai and several books as he passed his chunin exam; he'd been praised by the whole clan, and Ayano had privately gifted him a chakra-storing necklace of great value. Her dark eyes turned warmed whenever they landed upon her son, the one who could do no wrong in her eyes, and the bond between them was bare for all to see, pure and loving. And while Tsuki had her father's love, it did not mean she didn't long for her mother to look at her with pride and love instead of scorn and indifference.

Hatori Tsubaki, for his part, was nothing like his wife. He had warm, blue eyes and soft, delicate features betraying the utter lack of cruelty and harshness in his character. The Hatori Head was kind, understanding and uncaring of the rules, especially where his heart was concerned. And while, back in his younger years, he'd bent and nodded along to the rules of his own father and council, now that he was the Head, he did as he pleased without caring for the opinions of the clan or the people supposed to rule alongside him. His decisions made him a fairly disliked leader among the elders, but still he held the reins, and as long as he did, she could still train and become a ninja like she wanted. So Tsuki didn't really mind the whispers in the hall, choosing not to pay attention to it. They did not matter. The other girls who were scaredy cats and civilians did not matter. The clan members did not matter.

Tsuki had her own little world, and if they didn't deserve to be a part of it, then so be it.

The sun had nearly completely set by the time she made it back to the compound, hurrying past the imposing doors under the disapproving gazes of several guards and women, but she barely noticed them, they would never speak out against her. She was the heiress, and the only people who could safely reprimand her and get away with it were her parents –the elders didn't dare, and Sora rarely if ever acknowledged her existence, raised by Ayano's firm hand to believe women were not supposed to become ninjas. His loss.

A shadow fell over her, and she was scooped into powerful, familiar arms before she could do so much as squeal in surprise.

"I got you, little moon," Tsubaki laughed, twirling his daughter in the air as she flayed around. "You're so cute like this."

"Daaaaaad!" Tsuki whined, the fight leaving her as she realised she wouldn't get anywhere. "Stop doing that! I'm not a baby anymore!"

"You are," he disagreed, though he actually put her down. "I'll stop seeing you as a baby the day you can actually dodge me when you come home." Tsuki scowled.

"It's unfair. You're stronger than me, and I barely started the school!"

"One day you'll be much stronger than I am, Tsukiko," Her father said wisely, taking her small hand in his and leading her inside the compound. He completely ignored the way his daughter scowled at his use of her full name, his gaze wandering over the compound's walls, staring at something she couldn't quite see with her young eyes. His face softened into a soulful expression. "One day, you'll be free."

Tsuki glanced up at him questioningly, allowing him to drag her along.

"What do you mean? You say it like, you're a prisoner or something." Tsubaki smiled.

"Or something." He repeated, before facing resolutely forwards. "Now come; I believe dinner is ready, and if your mother has to wait even a minute longer, she'll have both our heads."

The prospect of warm, delicious food chased whatever confusion she might have had at her father's words, the question buried and forgotten in a dark corner of her mind. She sat in front of the table, giving out respectful greetings to the other two, out of habit more than real respect, and waited patiently for the food to be served. Dinner was a quiet affair, Ayano trying to question Tsubaki about his day and him answering with a few short, disinterested words, Sora ignoring pretty much everyone, and Tsuki eating to her small heart's content, silently basking in her father's presence. He wasn't home a lot, due to his status as an active shinobi –more often than not, he was lost for weeks and some distant corner of the world, and it was nothing but her, her brother, and Ayano in the house, with the occasional presence of the other clan members who worked for them. She missed him, terribly so, but whenever the sky seemed to darken around her, he miraculously came back to chase the storm away, each and every time. He was her saviour, her most important person in the world, and for now, it was enough.

It had to be.

Ayano excused herself quickly from the table before dessert and Sora eventually followed his father outside for a late training session. He didn't have the same relationship with him as he did with his mother, but he respected the man's strength and iron will. Tsuki, for her part, decided to partake in her daily ritual. Sneaking past the unsuspecting civilians, she nimbly climbed up the wall until she reached the roof. She'd taken to doing it ever since she turned five, when her father gifted her her most precious possession. In order to hide her innermost thoughts and secrets, she'd sought out the most secret place she knew -the main house's roof. No one ever made the painstaking effort of going up the wall, and because of the high fence surrounding the house, rarely if anyone ever walked close enough to see it from the street. It was the perfect hiding place, and her small body easily disappeared among the shadows of the night. And while at first, climbing had been incredibly hard -now she could almost do it with her eyes close. Practice really makes perfect.

There, hidden under a roof tile, she retrieved a small, leather book with a plain, dark blue cover. Inside, quite a few pages were already written in a dark, splotchy style, the obvious marks of a clumsy, childish hand, not yet able to fully control its movements. Tsuki turned the pages until she landed on a fresh one. _'Dear Diary'_ she wrote, '_Today, we learned about creating clones with our chakra. Clones! It took me a few tries to get it right, but Sasuke only needed two tries! He's really strong, you know? We're going to work on it a bit more, because many didn't succeed. And after, I beat Sasuke at kunai throwing! He's really a sore loser, he didn't want to admit he lost (but he did). He's a pain, sometimes. Always Uchihas this, Uchihas that, or my nii-san this, my nii-san that. I hope he's not going to keep saying that all the time. He's becoming __haro__ arrogant, I think. The Uchihas are strong, but they can't be that strong, right?'_ she paused, absent-mindedly nibbling on her pen. _'They don't let me enter the compound anymore, and it feels wrong. They're always angry, always frowning. I wonder what's going on. Yuki-san told me not to worry, but I can't visit her house now. She doesn't go out much, is she getting old? I don't think she's older than dad, but…she looks stressed. A bit like Naomi-san, the girl who does the laundry. She's always scared mother is going to round out the corner and scold her for being slow or something. She was ok, today. She didn't look at me, and she didn't talk to me. She tried to talk to father, but I think he didn't really want to answer her. And she left quickly after. I think they fought recently. Maybe it will be better tomorrow? That's all for today. Goodnight!'_

She closed the notebook quietly, nodding to herself. Another day, another adventure. She could only hope the rest of her life would be forever filled with adventures -with her friends and family right beside her. Tsuki remained behind on the roof a while longer, laying down and enjoying the night breeze while she still could. The heat made it okay to stay and watch the night sky without blankets, but soon winter would come and take that privilege away for the year. Maybe she could drag Sasuke along with her for the last few nights they still had? He always complained about having to train and all, but once they were both settled on the rooftop, nothing else existed but them and the sights. They both treasured these moments as they knew, growing older, they would no longer have so many opportunities to meet and enjoy a quiet moment together. _'Bah,_ she thought. _We'll find the time. And if Sasuke makes up excuses, then I'll just beat him to the ground! We're friends. We'll always be. And friends always make time for each other.'_ The thought brought a huge smile to her face as she closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth it gave her. _'Yeah. Friends. Forever.'_

She fell asleep a few minutes later. Upon going to bid his daughter goodnight and finding her bed empty, Tsubaki sighed and swiftly went to the roof, finding the child curled up around herself and smiling in her sleep. So cute. He shook his head with fondness, delicately taking up her small body into his arms. It took little to no time to carry her back to bed, slipping her shoes off and pulling the blankets over her still form. The tall man leaned over his daughter and softly kissed her forehead.

"Sleep well, my little moon."

She didn't even stir, deeply asleep and lost in the dream realm as she was. Behind the door of her room, Ayano stood quietly, arms crossed, patiently waiting for her husband to exit the place and face her. Her features, carefully blank, couldn't quite hide the disdain and disapproval swirling in her dark eyes. She drummed her fingers on her arm rhythmically, persistently, until at last the man came out and closed the door as quietly as he could. He didn't even glance at her, didn't even acknowledged her presence -though she knew with absolute certitude he had sensed her. She'd hadn't even tried to hide, after all, though she doubted she could still hide from him anymore. He had grown too strong, and she was…

"You're serious about it." She said, staring at his back. "About allowing her to train -to become a ninja." Tsubaki paused in his steps, tensing. He glanced back at her through the corner of his eyes.

"So what if I am?" he replied quietly, a warning in his tone. Ayano ignored it.

"They don't approve," she hissed, willing him to face her. "And neither do I."

"I don't remember asking for your opinion," he half snarled, his anger already rising. How many times had they had this peculiar argument already? Too many to count. "And you of all people should approve what I'm doing."

"Because you know me so well," the woman snarled, her fingers clawing her skin. "How many times did you actually bother to get to know me? Once, twice? As soon as Sora was born…"she paused, and her voice cracked the slightest bit despite herself. "…you stopped looking at me."

Tsubaki turned around this time, something like compassion shining in his dark eyes.

"You are free to leave, Ayano," he said softly. "I gave you permission a long time ago."

"I don't want to and you know why," she replied, clenching her fists. "Why can't you just-" The clan Head swiftly faced away once more, the sharpness of his behaviour feeling like she'd just been stabbed in the chest, and she knew what that felt like. He bade her a quiet _'goodnight'_, short and sharp, before striding away to his quarters. Ayano remained behind a while longer, shaking as her fingers drew blood on her abused skin. She took one glance at the lone door on the side and her anger vanished, an expression of incredible vulnerability appearing on her face, so fragile and unlike the harsh confidence she usually wore. Quietly, she laid her hand on the soft wood, resting her head fall against it. All was silent and still for quite some time as Ayano slowly gathered her thoughts and feelings, forging the tears in her heart into words in the dead of the night.

"You could have been mine," she eventually whispered, gazing at the floor. "We could have had everything. But you insist on being stubborn and ruining everything…" She closed her eyes.

"Neither of us will be free until the other yields."


	2. A subtle push in the right direction

Brushes of Loneliness

Hello again~

As I said before, this is going to be _slow_. Please bear with me as I give some explanation/background/character growth to everyone.

And just to clarify, at this point, Tsuki is a _brat_. A spoilt, pampered princess, smart, skilled, and for whom everything comes easily. Her father gives her nearly everything she wants, and she doesn't know the meaning of struggling yet. In her eyes, nothing exists outside of her perfect little bubble. It's going to burst soon, but meanwhile, you'll have to bear with her character.

Enjoy~

XxxX~Chapter 2: A subtle push in the right direction~XxxX

The Academy, at times, could be tiresome.

She excelled there, be it at kunai-throwing or chakra manipulation. What others took hours to master she did in barely half the time, and Sasuke was even faster than her; as such, most of the time, they ended up being left alone to practice whatever they wanted. They could talk freely once either Tsuki or Sasuke had managed to drive his fangirls away, and with Iruka-sensei's distant but watchful supervision, they could spar the way they couldn't when they were left alone, because of the injuries they could sustain.

Not that it happened often, of course.

"Oi, jerk! Stop acting so cool already!"

Well, at least when the blond idiot wasn't involved.

Sasuke's easy, calm expression immediately dropped into a scowl.

"What do you want, dumbass? Maybe if you started training seriously you'd start getting better."

Tsuki shook her head disapprovingly before gathering her discarded kunai back in her arms, storing them safely into her pouch. Last time, Naruto had actually slipped on one of her weapon when charging at Sasuke, and had actually nicked his elbow. And then, she'd gotten a lecture from Iruka-sensei about the importance of taking care of her kunai, keeping them ordered and on her person and all. She didn't need a repeat of what she already knew. She didn't know why Sasuke even bothered with the idiot, too; the blond had a way of getting under his skin, and instead of just ignoring him or scaring him away like he did everyone else, her friend always decided to pause in his training to antagonise their blond classmates. For someone as stubbornly obsessed with training as Sasuke, it was surprising, the time he took to answer the blond. Maybe he secretly enjoyed the attention?

The other kid sputtered in indignation, eyes narrowing in anger.

"What did you call me!?" The Uchiha heir scoffed, shoving his hands in his pockets with a bored expression.

"Dumbass."

A vein popped on Naruto's forehead.

"That's it! I'm gonna kill you! Just wait, you-"

"Naruto," Tsuki cut him off, getting annoyed with his loud mouth. "Sasuke and I were training, so please stop bothering us."

"What? Tsuki, you too you take this bastard's defence!? It's not fair!"

"NARUTO!"

The three children cringed upon hearing Iruka's pissed off, loud yelling. Naruto froze and started sweating bullets, dashing away from them and –hopefully- away from their wrathful teacher, no doubt about to bonk him on the head. Once more, she and Sasuke were left alone while their classmates chatted away in the background, pausing in today's exercise as their teacher was no longer present to make sure they practiced. Tsuki crossed her arms.

"What an idiot," she said, annoyance etched on her features. "Why's he still in the Academy? He has no talent. At all." Sasuke shrugged.

"True, he's a loser, and he'll always be one," he agreed, picking up his stance where he left it. He glanced up at her, before dashing forwards. The young girl easily blocked him before retaliating with her fists, but she couldn't quite focus. Her curiosity was getting the best of her.

"Hey Sasuke, I have a question to ask you."

"We're sparring, ask after."

"Do you like Naruto?"

Despite himself, the boy faltered, and his friend's next blow almost collided with his face. He scowled fiercely, jumping backwards a few feet and putting some distance back between them.

"Of course I don't! Why would you ask that, stupid?!"

"Well, you actually speak to him, so…"

"So what? I speak to you, too. It doesn't mean I like you."

Tsuki pursued her lips in a mock-hurt expression.

"You don't like me..?" She made her voice quiver and her eyes scrunch up. She stopped in their sparring, clutching her shirt. "You really don't…?" the other child crossed his arms and scowled fiercely, glaring at her.

"I'm not falling for that."

She upped the act, hugging herself and letting her short black hair fall in her eyes, hiding her expression from him. She allowed herself to shake a little. Sasuke faltered the slightest bit, and, spying the opening, she pounced. Except it didn't quite go as planned, as instead of slamming into Sasuke and pinning him to the ground, granting her victory, the boy side-stepped her at the last second, and Tsuki yelped as she crashed on the hard ground. Sasuke smirked at her triumphantly.

"I told you I wouldn't fall for that."

Tsuki grumbled as she got up, begrudgingly admitting defeat. Sasuke's typical, I-am-better-than-you-because-I'm-an-Uchiha smirk was really starting to get on her nerves, and for once, she figured _he_ would have to be the one who gave in if he wanted to keep training with her. So she turned around and started walking away from him, towards their idle classmates. Though she couldn't see it, Sasuke's mirth actually faded at once.

"Hey! Where are you going?"

She didn't answer, not bothering to hide her grin as he couldn't see it from where he was. Tsuki could literally feel him fuming at her back, and after letting him stew in his confusion and annoyance for a while longer, she eventually glanced back at him.

"If you're going to sulk when you lose, then so am I." She sang, smiling widely at his indignant _"Uchihas don't sulk!"_ He followed after her after a few minutes, joining their classmates when he saw Iruka had returned, calmer, a sour-looking Naruto on his heels with a distinct bump on his head which hadn't been there before. To Sasuke's great displeasure, Iruka paired the children up himself for the next exercise, and the one who needed the most improvement –Naruto- was paired with the best student –Sasuke. They spent the next hour or so glaring fiercely at each other, Sasuke vaguely trying to show him a thing or two and Naruto sometimes trying, and failing. _He should have paired him with someone else, _Tsuki thought. _He's not going to make any progress with Sasuke –not that I really think he would with anyone else…_Tsuki shook her head. The blonde wasn't her problem, she had her own partner to take care of. Speaking of which…

"…Who was I paired up with again..?"

"Um, th-that would be me, Hatori-san…" a tiny voice squeaked behind her, and the Hatori heiress turned around, blinking.

"Hinata?" she questioned, and the small, violet-haired child nodded. The Hyuuga girl didn't look at her, choosing instead to stare at the ground and poke her fingers, occasionally glancing at the pair of boys on the side. She was a head shorter than everyone else, incredibly shy, and her hands trembled so much when she threw a kunai, Tsuki was convinced she would never make it to genin. But she'd been tasked with helping her, so she would.

"Well, let's go, then."

She led them a bit further away from the others, in order not to be disturbed by the loud yelling and clumsy gestures of the other children. She expected nothing from her partner; though she was from the great Hyuuga clan, Tsuki thought her too small, too shy, too kind to be able to become strong. And only the strong survived; though she was young, it was something they had learned quite early. Even if many –and both her and Sasuke were among them- actually didn't understand what death was. The luckiest wouldn't until quite a few years.

She turned to her partner, falling into the standard hand-to-hand combat pose.

"Go," she said, and immediately she jumped at Hinata, though she went much easier on her than she would with Sasuke. She'd never sparred with the girl before, but she had a good idea on how strong she was, which was not at all. The Hyuuga heiress couldn't defeat her if she tried. At eight years old, they knew nothing other than using their fists and legs, it was vital they mastered the basics before learning anything else after all. Tsuki, for her part, thought she had them down (was the Uchiha's arrogance rubbing off on her?) and as such, barely focused on the spar, convinced as she was it wasn't needed, and she was right.

Hinata's hits were weak at best, half-hearted though she was surprised to see they were precise and fast. She lacked strength and will, but she certainly had potential. Unlike the pink-haired girl –the one nobody really knew, and whose reasons to become a ninja were childish and not thought through at best.

"Hit harder, Hinata," Tsuki eventually called out, driving her back with more force than necessary. "If your attack's not strong, then hitting the target or missing doesn't matter."

"R-right…" Hinata nodded her assent, but her blows didn't actually gain any strength. Tsuki sighed.

"You'll end up like Naruto if you keep going," she said, shrugging. "You'll be a loser, and you'll be left be-"

"N-Naruto-kun is not a loser!" Hinata denied, her voice gaining a bit of strength. Tsuki blinked in surprise. "He-he's very determined and strong! A-and he doesn't deserve the way people are treating him!"

The Hatori child blinked again, staring as the Hyuuga heiress, panting and red-faced, proceeded to defend the boy whom –very obviously- she liked and admired. And the more she listened, the more she realised that, maybe, the Hyuuga was right. Naruto was brash, reckless, and definitely not good at anything, but he was kind. Determined. And he never gave up, too. He went from failure to failure but he always stood right back up to try again. It made her pause.

If she was to fail at something, over and over again…Could she still go on like he did?

The question bothered her for the rest of the day. Even when she and Sasuke parted ways, the boy already imagining how the training with his big brother would go, she barely noticed and mechanically waved when he did. She walked back to the compound alone, paying even less attention to her surroundings than she usually did as her thoughts smashed together in an endless loop of confused questioning she could not answer.

She'd never really paid attention to the blond, per say. He was just…there, being reckless and stupid and annoying. People generally disliked him because he was an unstoppable prankster, grating on everyone's nerves. Or at least she thought so, but…now that she thought about it, it didn't quite explain the general meanness of the citizens. She'd caught a glimpse of him several times as she walked back home, after school. She'd seen angry shopkeepers throwing things at him, sometimes even hitting him much harder than anyone should hit a child. But she'd never really noticed until now -no. She _had_ noticed. She'd just…not bothered thinking about it. Because she had a perfect world with no hitch, no black spots, and she wasn't about to shatter it by introducing one troublesome boy into it.

And yet, the shy Hyuuga heiress's words kept dancing around in her thoughts, refusing to leave her alone until she at least had an explanation.

One she couldn't seem to find, no matter how hard she thought about it. And if there was one thing she disliked more than annoying ripples disturbing the perfect surface of her world, it was not knowing the answer about something.

Tsuki ground her teeth together, brows furrowed and eyes darker than usual. She _hated_ being left in the dark, and when she entered the compound, the other members of the clan made sure to steer clear from her path. Not that she scared them, but being yelled at by a spoilt eight-years old without being able to say even a single word was getting tiring.

"What's on your mind, little moon?" Her father asked, taking his eyes off her brother as they spared in the courtyard. Sora grunted in frustration, his fists and legs meeting nothing but empty air each time his father dodged and retaliated. His ultimate goal was to finally defeat the man, but seeing as the clan Head didn't even feel the need to look at him to dodge his strikes, focusing on his brat of a sister instead, the fifteen years-old chunin felt he was still quite a few years away from winning.

Not that it stopped him from trying, of course.

Tsuki glanced up at the two. Usually, she enjoyed watching Sora eat the dirt, but the incessant mulling prevented her from finding any amusement today. And though she was prideful and stubborn when it came to not knowing something, spending hours upon the same matter without getting any closer to an answer wasn't exactly her definition of 'fun'. She just knew it was going to torture her the whole night if she didn't do something about it. Grunting and huffing in defeat, the young child crossed her arms.

"I have a classmate," she said, "who everyone picks on. He's annoying and a prankster and a brat, but no matter how many times he gets punished, he keeps going. He's dumb so it's not surprising, but the villagers really dislike him. Like, once, a man punched him in the face and made him bleed." Her brows scrunched up as she recalled the scene, missing how her father paused abruptly in the spar, under Sora's curious and confused green eyes. Oblivious, she went on, "I know Naruto's annoying, but that's not-"

"Naruto?" her father asked, his voice oddly blank and not betraying anything. "Uzumaki…Naruto?" Tsuki blinked. Sora only glanced between the two, noticing, unlike his sister, how their father had gone tense and rigid. It clashed heavily with his usually calm and relaxed demeanour, and the young man paid extra attention to the rest of the conversation.

"Yeah, that's his name," she said, mentally cringing as his loud voice echoed in her head, the way he'd add 'dattebayo' everywhere. "But how did you-"

"Stay away from that…_boy_."

Tsuki startled, blinking confusedly at the barely restrained…something, in his voice. Not quite disgust, not quite anger, but something in-between. Did he dislike her classmate, just like the other adults? But why?

"Father?" Sora asked, careful not to invoke his father's temper. Though rarely seen, no one wanted to be around when the clan Head was angry. "Why do you say this? Who is that boy?" Tsubaki visibly reined in his emotions, peacefulness returning to his features, if not to his chakra, still swirling angrily within him. He shook his head, his short, brown hair flying. The man faced his two children, steel in his voice.

"The boy is…an unfortunate casualty of the Kyuubi attack, eight years ago," he explained quietly, cutting off his children's confusion at his choice of words. "He is what he is and it is unfortunate, but he is dangerous. Don't get close to him. Both of you." He stared hard at them, emphasizing what was, without a shadow of a doubt, an order not from their father, but from their Clan Head. And if Sora nodded quietly, easily surrendering to his authority, Tsuki didn't quite react the same.

The young girl stared at him in utter confusion.

"Dangerous? He's a prankster, not a…a criminal! And what do you mean by casualty? Obviously he's not dead, so why-"

"Tsuki…" her father warned, frowning. "It matters not. Stay away from him."

"But _why_?!" she exploded at last. "I don't like him, but you could at least tell me why-"

"_Tsukiko_."

The child silenced herself immediately, visibly withering under her father's heavy stare. He did not say anything else, only looking at her with disapproval. Her father had never looked at her with anything other than love and fondness. To be on the receiving end of his disappointment…She lowered her head.

"…I'm sorry, father." She whispered at last, and Tsubaki seemed satisfied with her words. He turned away, focusing back on Sora and their training without saying another word. The young chunin resumed throwing punches at his father as though nothing had happened, his reddish-brown hair slapping his nape at each burst of speed. Though inwardly he was curious and dying to know what was so special about Uzumaki Naruto, he knew his father wouldn't tell him.

But his mother would, he was sure of that. Just as he was certain she wouldn't tell anything to Tsuki even if his sister dared asking, which he knew she wouldn't. Narrowly dodging a punch, Sora pushed the matter to the corner of his mind, unbothered now that he knew he would eventually find out.

Tsuki for her part quietly slipped away from the two, trying to draw as little attention to herself as possible, head lowered so her short black hair would hide the incoming storm written all over her face. The child had never been denied anything before -at least nothing of this importance. The knowledge she sought directly impacted her life, seeing as Naruto was her classmate, but her father would never willingly part with the information. And besides, he did not have a good enough reason for telling her. Hell, he didn't even give her one! She couldn't accept something she didn't understand. Naruto, dangerous? Ha! As if. Tsuki stomped her small feet on the ground, her foul mood worsening. Her father had forbidden her from doing things before -playing with his kunai, juggling with glass, breakable things- but this was quite something else. No one could tell her who to see and who to avoid. It was her life, damnit! She could see whoever she wanted, regardless of their status or skills (not that she frequented lower beings, she had standards after all) and though she dearly loved and respected her father, she was too damn stubborn to allow him to decide for her.

He'd raised her to think for herself, hadn't he? And he wanted her to stay away from Naruto?

A childish snarl escaped her lips.

Fine.

She'd get as close to him as possible.

Just because she could.

She didn't say a word at dinner, allowing her parents and brother to converse easily as she pretended to be still sulking from earlier. Her acting skills, the ones she perfected everyday with Sasuke, allowed her to remain unbothered for the rest of the evening, and she was free to think of what she was going to do. She couldn't just go to Naruto and tell him she wanted to spend tie with him, it'd be suspicious. Besides, she had to make sure it remained a secret. So she couldn't spend time with him in public, because no one could know about it. But what if Naruto started then yelling on the roof that she was spending time with him? It wouldn't do. Maybe she could tell him it had to be a secret, otherwise she'd be forbidden from spending time with him? It wasn't even a lie. Perfect.

She went to sleep that night excited and eager. She had never quite defied a direct order before, and far from fearing the consequences, she found herself giggling without meaning to. Here in the compound, she was the little princess everyone catered to; and while she enjoyed being able to do basically whatever she wanted, there was just something about rebelling, an appeal she didn't quite understand, but enjoyed all the same.

Perhaps it was why Naruto kept pranking people?

She'd have to try her hand at it.

Tsuki paused in her thoughts, then frowned.

She hadn't even started spending time with him, he was already rubbing off on her; and not in a good way.

She'd have to be careful.

Early the next day, since she didn't have classes on weekends, she ran through Konoha looking for its number one troublemaker, checking the streets looking for his blonde hair. She saw Ino, a grey-haired duded reading an odd book, the brown-haired idiot with his white puppy, the Hokage's greying head…but no Naruto. Two hours she spent looking for the prankster, with little luck. She'd checked the academy the Hokage tower, the market, the gates, even the various training grounds, but there was not a trace of the frowned, stopping near the park to catch her breath. Seriously, where was he? Usually by this time, he'd already have thrown a smoke bomb into the hot springs, messed Iruka-sensei's office, painted the Hokage's face on the-

Tsuki glanced sharply at the cliff. No luck, it was bare of paint. She sighed.

"For an obnoxious prankster, you sure know how to hide," she mumbled, ticked off. She was ready to give up. If it took her more than two hours to find him, then the excitement of breaking the rules wasn't worth it. She could have done so many other things! Like training, bugging Sasuke about his big brother, trying to catch Yuki-san on her way to the market, test the swings on the pa-

The child paused as her blue eyes caught sight of a blonde child slumped on the swings. Tsuki's frown disappeared at once, replaced by a bright grin.

'_Finally!'_

She took several, purposeful steps closer to the swings where her target rested, small hands clutching the chains and sky blue eyes staring at nothing in particular. Seeing as he didn't raise his head at her approach, she planted herself firmly in front of him.

"Hey Naruto! I-"

The blonde raised his head, and she suddenly couldn't find the words she'd rehearsed in her head the whole morning. It disappeared faster than she could react, but there, in his eyes before he caught sight of her…pain. Raw, painful, heart-rending pain. The kind which made her want to curl in a corner and bawl her eyes out until her father came to pick her up. But, as far as she knew…she'd never seen anyone pick Naruto up.

Who comforted him when he was sad?

She couldn't ponder on the thought any further, because the pain in his eyes was gone in an instant. Instead, the blonde straightened and faced her with his usual, cheerful expression. Sort of.

"Tsuki? What are you doing here?"

She didn't know what to say, she couldn't recall the words she'd prepared earlier. Her mind was blank. Completely blank. In front of her, Naruto was starting to look suspicious, so the child blurted the first question that came to her mind.

"Uhhh…what…are you…doing..?"

She mentally slapped herself. Come on! He'd been sitting alone on a swing before she came by, and that was what she asked? She could have found a better thing to say, seriously!

Naruto chuckled nervously, scratching his head.

"I- uh, was just playing on the swings! See? Haha…" Tsuki saw her opening at once.

'_Perfect.'_ She pounced.

"You want me to push you?"

"Eh?" Naruto froze, eyes going wide, and immediately pointed a finger at her. "YOU want to push ME? But why?" Tsuki mentally counted from ten to one in order not to snap. _'Come on, has no one ever offered to push you? How dumb are you?'_ Instead, she just shrugged, crossing her arms and looking boredly to the side.

"Because I want to."

The silence stretched between them for an impossibly long time, Tsuki still awaiting an answer. The boy remained stubbornly silent though, and the longer she had to wait, the more impatient she became. It wasn't everyday she was nice to him, so the least he could do was thank her for her kindness, right? She knew he wasn't exactly the most polite of her classmates, but still! You weren't supposed to let someone wait an eternity for an answer!

In the end, huffing in impatience, she turned back to him, ready to let her annoyance known. And then she froze for the second time today.

Naruto was staring at her, looking both awestruck and ready to cry. He looks like a fish out of water, she thought. Stupid. Tsuki frowned, not understanding the cause of his unshed tears, and forced herself not to show her irritation.

"What is it?" At her words, Naruto blinked suddenly and hurriedly wiped imaginary tears from his eyes. He faced away from her as he did, hiding his face from view, and when his features came into her sight again, it was her turn to look like a star-struck fish. She suddenly understood what Hinata meant about his 'blinding smile'. She wasn't one for idle poetry, but she had to admit, his smile could have lit up the whole sky. There was something so incredibly beautiful about it; perhaps it was that she'd never seen him smile like that, so whole-heartedly, without any restrain, without fear, without-

False cheerfulness.

"It's just…" he paused, looking away from her. "No one ever offered to push me before."

Guilt was not an emotion she was familiar with. She didn't do guilt. She did what she wanted, she did not apologise, she did not regret. Others were beneath her. As for her equals, she'd never done anything to evoke guilt in her heart.

But as she looked into these beautiful, innocent eyes, this pure smile, and as she remembered she'd only offered to push him to defy her father and nothing else, guilt slammed into her gut with the violence of a thousand kunai.

She had no idea non-physical wounds could hurt this much. The excitement of this morning was all but gone, and she felt bad for perhaps the first time in…ever, really. She felt bad for what she'd intended to do to him. Felt bad for making him believe someone cared about him when she didn't. She was lying to him. She was betraying him.

It didn't sit well with her. Sure, he was troublesome, annoying, idiot, and she'd called him worse in her mind, but…betraying someone was wrong. Playing with someone's feelings was wrong. She was not a bad person, was she?

As she became lost in thoughts, Naruto slowly deflated and his smile vanished. She was second-guessing herself, she was going to leave him in a moment and he'd be alone again. Really, what had he been expected? That someone who barely ever glanced at him would suddenly decide to spend time with him out of the blue? Hadn't he learned already? No one ever did. No one wanted to. And the few who did -save the old man at Ichiraku and Iruka-sensei- only ever wound up hurting him. So it was better if she left now. At least he wouldn't get more hurt than he already was.

"It's ok," he eventually said, pulling her out of her thoughts. "I can do it alone, you don't have to stay and push me."

Something snapped in Tsuki's heart.

Alone.

For half a second she imagined herself in his shoes. Alone on this lonely swing, watching as people walked by without noticing her. Without any friend to play with her. Without anyone to push her. Without anyone to _care_. The young girl shivered.

_I'm not like him. This would never happen to me, I have friends and family and people who love me. But…_she paused_. It's not fair, is it? That he doesn't have anyone. But it's not my fault he's a nobody. I shouldn't care. I shouldn't…I should go home._

Tsuki took a few steps away.

"Y-yeah…" she whispered, unsure. "I- bye."

She walked away. Or, at least, she tried to.

But in the corner of her eyes, she saw the way his shoulders dropped, as though a part of him had, despite his words, hoped she'd stay.

She'd deceived him.

She'd hurt him.

Only bad people hurt others.

She was pushing the swing before she even realised she'd walked back to him.

~And don't forget to review~


	3. The Carefree The Confused and The Lonely

Brushes of Loneliness

Busy, busy, busy.

Sorry, I should have updated much earlier, but, well. Have you ever tried writing fourteen files of fifteen pages each in two weeks? Word of advice: don't wait for the last moment. God knows I should have learned this, like, more than ten years ago, but noooo, I still waited. Hopefully I'll do better next semester.

So, on with the story. Tsuki's puzzled by her own reactions, Sasuke's jealous, and Naruto is oblivious as usual.

Itachi makes a tiny appearance, but nothing of importance. Though now that I have the settings, we'll be moving forwards soon.

Note: Housewives are great. Hatori Ayano? Not so much.

Enjoy~

XxxX~Chapter 3: The Carefree, The Confused and The Lonely~XxxX

Chink. Chink.

She did not get it.

"You're distracted, Tsuki," Iruka-sensei called out, frowning. "Do focus, please."

"Yes, sensei," she replied mechanically, not really hearing him. Her thoughts and current puzzlement were more important to her than this pointless sparring, anyway. The other girl was getting frustrated with her obvious lack of focus, and she was getting sloppy. Tsuki didn't need her whole attention to beat this weakling of a commoner.

_Naruto too is a commoner, you know_. And there it was again, that annoying little voice which had surfaced in her head ever since that odd behaviour of hers at the swings. The one which commented her every thought, like, _'you're being a snob'_ or _'at least she's not a spoilt brat who doesn't know what being strong really means'_. It was grating, irritating, frustrating like hell, especially since she didn't understand what it meant. Being strong? She was strong, stronger than almost everyone else. And snob? She was the heiress of the Hatori Clan, she had a right to be. What was wrong with that?

Her opponent, eager to at least land one blow, suddenly charged forwards and aimed at her head. On instinct, Tsuki ducked and then used the other girl's momentum to have her stomach slamming into her fist. She gasped and the moment it took her to regain her breath, the Hatori heiress sneaked a leg behind hers and threw her to the ground, her kunai at her throat. The child looked up at her, dazed as Iruka called the end of the match.

"Tsuki wins," he said, nodding to her as she got back up and shook hands with her dejected opponent. "Next."

"Woho! That was great, Tsuki!"

The young girl couldn't help the flinch as Naruto's loud voice and bright smile made themselves known. She raised a hand and waved at him half-heartedly, noticing how it made his grin even wider. She didn't quite know what to do; ever since the swings, Naruto had been trying his hardest to stay with her, to encourage her, tell her she was great and all…On one hand, she liked the attention. She liked knowing even he recognized her strength, recognized she was better than him, but…but it was innocent. Pure. No jealousy, no resentment, just simple happiness for a friend's exploits. His smile was true, genuine, and for a reason she didn't understand, it made her feel guilty, filled her with a bad feeling in her gut, like the one time Sasuke had punched her too hard and she'd doubled over in pain, desperately trying to catch her breath while seeing stars. Every single time the blond waved at her, called out to her or simply praised her skills, she just wanted to run away and hide until he was gone.

She was Hatori Tsuki, heiress to the glorious Hatori clan, and she was not supposed to hide. Yet she'd been trying to avoid him ever since the swings, ever since-

She closed her eyes.

Ever since she'd actually rethought herself, looked back, and then retraced her steps to do the thing she'd already decided she wouldn't do. All because of beautiful cerulean eyes filled with so much sadness and disappointment, but no anger. Never anger, never resentment.

Just sorrow.

And she still didn't get exactly why she'd walked back and pushed him on the swings. It was unlike her, unlike anything she'd ever been taught, and yet in that single moment, the one which had barely lasted a few minutes…she'd felt good. Like she'd actually done something right, like suddenly –everything she'd always done before had been wrong before and she was only seeing it now. But it wasn't true. She'd just lived, hadn't she? Just acted like the heiress she was, training to become a kunoichi, to protect the village. Why did she feel like she was missing something –an important something?

"Why was the dumbass cheering for you?"

She jumped at once, realizing Sasuke's match had come and gone without her noticing. Iruka-sensei was right, she was awfully distracted today. She couldn't afford to be. When his words registered in her mind, she put on her best poker face and shrugged.

"Who knows what goes on in that idiot's head? I don't."

Sasuke eyed her suspiciously, a glance at the corner of his eyes telling him the blond in question was currently glaring at him –and not because of his last defeat, they hadn't sparred together today. It puzzled him. Naruto never directly spoke to anyone, preferring to yell his thoughts at the top of his voice so anyone within a ten-mile radius could hear him. Save for when they were arguing, they didn't talk. So why had the blond suddenly switched tactics? Why was he trying to speak with her, cheering for her when she won, just like he did with Saku-

His thoughts came to an abrupt halt.

"He likes you," Sasuke blurted out at once, his astonishment at the realization for once completely overriding his polite and noble upbringing. Naruto liked Tsuki, his friend, his sparring partner, _his_ Tsuki. The Uchiha boy immediately disliked the thought. Tsuki, for her part, paled at once.

"He doesn't! Where the hell did you get that stupid idea?!" Sasuke scowled.

"That's what you asked me when I spoke to Naruto last time, remember? Now he's speaking with you, that means he likes you!"

"Does not!"

"Does too!"

"You're being ridiculous!" Tsuki screamed at once, already fed-up. Her temper was rather short today. "He's cheering for me because I pushed him on the swings last week, that's all!"

She realized her mistake as soon as the words left her lips. It was supposed to be a secret. Supposed to be her silent rebellion, the one thing she did behind her father's back because of an unfair order she didn't agree with. And if she knew Sasuke enough, she was certain he wouldn't take it well.

"You're friend with him?" he asked, voice neutral, but disapproval blatant. Tsuki felt her anger rising back up at once. And though it wasn't true, she found herself answering.

"So what if I am?"

Sasuke stared hard at her, and the child had the sudden feeling he was going to say something his parents had told him –something he didn't understand, but accepted as absolute truth just because it came from his father and mother, because they couldn't be wrong. Unlike her, apparently, she thought bitterly.

"He's trouble, a dumbass, a loser, and weak. You've got better things to do than spending time with him, like training with me." Tsuki crossed her arms and stuck her tongue out. Childish of her, she knew, but her friend was being equally as childish, if not more, in her opinion.

"You're just worried I'll like him more than you." Sasuke scoffed.

"What part of 'trouble, dumbass, loser and weak' did you miss?" His friend shrugged in indifference.

"I know all of that, stupid. But the grown-ups –your parents and mine- don't want us hanging with him, and I want to know why." The Uchiha blinked in confusion, then lifted one eyebrow.

"Are you really that dumb?"

Tsuki bonked him on the head.

"What th-"

"If you really think that's why they don't want us near him, then you're the dumb one, Sasuke."

Truthfully, Tsuki hadn't figured out it out until about right now. She'd decided to seek Naruto out only for the satisfaction of defying orders, but after taking the time to analyze the blond…something wasn't right. The grown-ups didn't just dislike him, most outright hated him. Naruto, an eight-year old orphan with no parental figure whatsoever, at least that she knew of. She'd never seen anyone pick him up from the academy, after all. Her point was, she didn't think Naruto quite deserved what he got. The punishments, yes. The few curses words, yes too. But the hate? No, she didn't think so. She knew plenty of troublemakers, and none got quite as much hatred as Naruto did.

And it puzzled her. She didn't like not understanding something.

"There's more to him, I'm sure. I want to know what it is."

Sasuke stared at her for one minute, trying to understand. Where did her sudden interest span from? She'd never shown any interest in the blond before, barely ever noticing his presence unless it was to note how loud or stupid he was, just like him. So, why? Why did she suddenly want to waste her time on the blond? Whatever he could be hiding, it couldn't be worth it. If it didn't pertain to his training, his clan or his friends, then Sasuke had no interest in knowing it. But he knew his friend, unfortunately, had the nasty habit of focusing all of her skills and time in figuring out the most futile of things if only because she couldn't stand not knowing. He'd tried to convince her before she didn't need to know where her uncle disappeared to every few nights, how the ladybirds could fly with such small wings or if the shark rumour was true, to no avail. Tsuki was stubborn as a bull and sometimes, she even had the brain of one, choosing to charge through and smash everything in her path until her thirst for knowledge and control had been sated. Her latest project, it seemed, centred around the blond idiot, and Sasuke had known her long enough to understand he had no way of making her leave it be. She'd keep going until she had found it out, and he hoped she would. Otherwise she'd throw one hell of an embarrassing temper tantrum and he didn't want to get caught in the middle. At all. That last time in the onsen with the bathing Hyuuga elders was etched forever in his mind. He had never quite gotten over the embarrassment, and he scowled. Why did she have to focus on such pointless matters? And dragging him with her, nonetheless. This time her obsession wouldn't interfere.

"Fine," the young boy scowled darkly. "Waste your free time with him if you want. But he's not training with us, got it?" It was Tsuki's turn to scowl.

"Of course he won't! Who do you take me for? ...Don't answer that."

The class resumed afterwards, as though nothing had ever troubled the two top students in the first place. Naruto still chatted animatedly with Tsuki anytime he could, Sasuke fuming silently in the background and cursing the blond for taking Tsuki's time away from him. But at least their training sessions would be blissfully free of the idiot after class, and the thought allowed him to keep his cool and trust his friend, and he especially needed to after these last few days.

He remained pensive for the remainder of the class, allowing his thoughts and worry to take precedence over his classmates' pointless chatter. Lately, things in the clan had been…tense, to say the least. As a child –the thought made him scowl in displeasure- he wasn't allowed on in the clan meetings, but he had ears, and the adults weren't exactly discreet. Everywhere he went, talks of resentment and anger reached him, and a cloud of incoming doom seemed to have settled over the compound. He didn't like it, especially since, from what he could see, part of it stemmed directly from his brother, Itachi. The man had always been rather distant, but now, it felt like he barely ever saw him. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd actually trained with him, or even the last time he'd been home to share a meal with them in peaceful silence; now, the rare occasions he was home, he was avoiding pretty much everyone, and his father's disappointment in his elder was obvious and painful. A part of him resented his father from driving his brother out of the home with his eyes alone, but…why were they fighting, exactly? And why couldn't they resolve it, like they had before? Why was the whole clan involved? Just what was going on, exactly?

Such were the thoughts going on in his head as he made his way home, after cutting his training with Tsuki short. Despite his reluctant acceptance of the blond's presence in her life, he'd still been rather mad at her, and neither had performed according to their standards. It was better they go their separate ways and be allowed to cool down until the next time. Besides, hopefully, it'd allow him to catch snippets of conversations he wasn't meant to hear. Information gathering was one of the key skills of a ninja, after all.

"Little brother?"

And paying attention to his surroundings too, though apparently Sasuke rather failed at that one.

"Big brother!" he exclaimed, startled but delighted at the sight. Lost in thoughts, which was so unlike him, he had failed to notice Itachi sitting on the porch, a half-eaten dango plate beside him. His gentle eyes revealed none of his inner thoughts, none of the conflict weighing heavily on his mind; instead, there was only a kind smile on his lips and light surprise etched on his features.

"You're home early," Itachi noted, silently beckoning his sibling forwards. Sasuke shook himself out of his stupor and sat himself next to him, far away from the dango plate though. His big brother had an incredible amount of patience, sometimes seemingly infinite, but you didn't want to get in between Itachi and his dangos. Really. Sasuke shrugged.

"I had an argument with Tsuki," the thought made him frown. "Sometimes I really don't understand her. But what about you?" he changed subjects quickly, unwilling to discuss his friend with his big brother in his rare moments of free time. He glanced at his sibling sideways. "You're home early, too. Usually you're never there when I come back…" Itachi closed his eyes.

"…I apologise, Sasuke. But you know I am busy." Sasuke pouted.

"That's all you ever say, but never why. What's going on, big brother? Even I can see something's not right here." Itachi shook his head silently.

"It's nothing you should concern yourself with, Sasuke. It will be over soon." His voice was calm, warm and reassuring as always, and the young child found some of his worries easing away, taking comfort in his elder's quiet aura. If Itachi said it was okay, then it was. His big brother was the strongest and smartest person he knew, he couldn't be wrong. And yet, something kept nagging at him. He hadn't invented the anger and frustration he felt within the clan…it had to be something. Itachi was probably just trying to protect him, but wasn't Sasuke old enough to know? He wasn't a genin yet, but surely he was smart enough? He was at the top of his class!

"Brother," he started, but Itachi beat him to it.

"How about we use our free time and start training?" he suggested, still smiling softly. "It's been a while since the last time."

Immediately, all of Sasuke's worries and interrogations vanished, replaced by sheer joy and enthusiasm at the idea of spending time with his sibling. How long had it been? Too much to count, but as long as Itachi was there, it did not matter. Nothing else mattered in the world than his big brother and the time he could spend with him.

At the other side of Konoha, another child had almost the same thoughts as him, but she was disappointed to see, upon coming home, that her precious person wasn't there. Her father wasn't training with her brother, he wasn't in a meeting with the elders and he wasn't drinking tea on the porch. She had searched the whole compound and she was starting to get fed up. Where was he? He never felt the compound or rarely, at least not when she was home, and she needed to talk to him. _Now_. Sasuke had cut their training session short, she had been unable to let go of her irritation towards him, and she needed her father's input on the situation –without telling him exactly what it was about. Why was Sasuke so angry with her befriending Naruto? And why go home early when he'd specifically told her the blond was not to intrude on their training sessions? His actions didn't make sense. She hadn't noticed anything amiss during the few short minutes they'd actually trained, so she didn't understand, and maybe her father would be able to shed some light on the matter.

If only she could find him. Where the hell was he!?

Tsuki was about ready to throw a tantrum, when a maid's voice broke through her frustration.

"Your father is not home, young lady. He was called on a mission this morning."

Tsuki scowled fiercely at the maid, displeased, and the young woman hastily took her leave from the moody heiress. Not that she feared the child, but the Clan Head was known for spoiling his daughter rotten, and if word ever reached his ears that someone had displeased the little demon spawn –because Tsuki would definitely go sniffling to him whenever things didn't go her way- then his wrath would be devastating. None in the compound was truly safe from his wrath save for the two people who stood on almost equal grounds as Tsuki, namely the clan Head's son and wife. All the others made sure to steer clear of the nuisance, but Tsuki was rather oblivious to it.

Seeing as her quest would remain fruitless until her father came home from his mission, Tsuki figured she was going to train as she was supposed to do with Sasuke earlier. The training grounds should be empty if he wasn't there, as her brother usually trained outside the compound if he wasn't busy with his father, and the other clan members didn't use it, allowing the clan head's family to use it in privacy. Perks of being from the main family.

It also had the main advantage of being free of the single other person she actually feared retribution from apart from her father : her mother. As women weren't, until a few years ago, allowed to train as kunoichi, Hatori Ayano barely, if ever, stepped foot in the place, and only to watch her son and husband training. Otherwise she never graced the place with her presence, not hiding the distate she held for it. She usually could be found somewhere deep in the kitchen hounding the maids or working in her office, sometimes even patrolling the halls tracking those slacking off or discussing with council members. Wherever she went, those working under her trembled in anticipation and dread, fearing their work would not meet up the ridiculously high standards of the Hatori matriarch. She knew the household by heart, knew the names, hours, and tasks meant to be done every day without fault, to the point many wondered if underneath the beautiful, pale face and fleshy form there wasn't a demon in hiding, for surely only a spirit could achieve everything she did in a single day. Many believed the day the Hatori matriarch came to pass, then surely the whole clan would, too. The men defended it, but it was the women who held it and made it as strong as it was, something widely known but never acknowledged. The point was, the woman never seemed to rest or take time for herself except at night when she slept in her quarters, but even then, she was up later than everyone but remained the first to rise in the morning. As far as she remembered, Tsuki had never, ever witnessed her mother merely relaxing or enjoying herself.

Such is why she actually froze on the porch, mouth agape, as she came upon the sight of her mother sitting, gaze focused on the training grounds in front of her and quietly sipping tea from the fragile cup she held in her hands. Her back was to her, but the instant Tsuki snapped out of her stupor and decided to turn back and pretend she had never seen her, Ayano's voice stopped her.

"Tsuki. Come sit with me, child."

_Oh god, she knows I'm hanging around with Naruto,_ the child panicked. _That's the only explanation, why would she be sitting here otherwise! Wait. No, she can't know. Nobody saw us on the swings and I can't picture Naruto telling anyone. Plus Sasuke didn't have the opportunity to tell on me yet._

The young girl tried her best to keep a neutral expression, knowing in the slight chance her mother actually didn't know, she couldn't be giving it away by allowing guilt to be seen on her features. With all the calmness and dignity she could muster, and she knew it was essentially she met up her mother's standards for grace and elegance, she kneeled beside her on the wood, a few inches respectfully behind. The Hatori Matriarch remained silent for a long while, occasionally sipping her tea, while her daughter nervously tried not to fidget while awaiting whatever judgement Ayano would pass on her –for it definitely felt like she was about to hear her sentence before getting a trial, and knowing her, it wasn't too far-fetched. At long last, Ayano eventually put her out of her misery.

"The school year will end soon, will it not?"

Tsuki did not expect the seemingly innocent question; however, she knew her mother, and it meant it was only the beginning. She could not lower her guard.

"A few weeks." She answered evasively. It did not matter, Ayano already knew the answer anyway. She wouldn't have asked otherwise. Never admit a weakness, knowledge is power.

"You are planning on graduating to genin, are you not?"

Ah, there it was. The root of everything, the reason for her presence here. It had came incredibly quickly this time, barely a question in and already the main subject was on. Tsuki immediately knew where it was going, and she didn't like it.

"Yes." She replied quietly, lowering her head. Ayano had never hidden her disapproval of her daughter's choice in career. She expected scolding, expected to be belittled and mocked for it as she usually was, but instead –her mother did something quite unexpected.

"And you have never considered your other choices, have you?"

The phrasing was gentle, neutral. Not disapproving, not condemning, just…curious. It had her on edge in under a second.

"Other choices?"

"What you can do to bring honour and pride to Konoha –and the clan."

Tsuki shook her head.

"I don't want to…to just take care of a house when I grow up," she whispered, trying her best not to offend her mother, to make her understand. Even if she knew how pointless it was. "I want to fight. I want to travel, to see what's outside Konoha. I want to protect it. Like father does." It was Ayano's turn to shake her head.

"Child, you're old enough to understand, by now," she sighed. "Who really holds this clan together? Who really makes it strong, when the men are out doing who knows what? Who makes sure they still have a home to return to when they come back?" Only then did Ayano look at the child beside her. "_We_ do. We, the women of this clan. It has always been our role, our calling. We keep it neat, ordered, and going when the men return bloody and dumb. We show everyone our wealth and pride through the state of our homes, through the appearance we show the world. _We_ are the true strength of this clan. _We_ truly protect it, by giving it its reputation, its power. _We_ do. Not the men. Not the shinobis," Ayano paused in her tirade. "Every home needs to be tended to by a matriarch, and this will be your role, Tsuki."

This had to be…perhaps the most diplomatic way Ayano had ever tried to tell her daughter she needed to quit her ninja studies. Before, she always preferred the more direct attempts, even going as far as degrading what she learned or making her skip school on the guise of spending the day with her, and secretly attempting to teach her her future duties. But Tsuki had remained unphased and determined, and Ayano had figured she needed to switch tactics.

But her carefully rehearsed and practiced words were perhaps too odd, bearing an importance too difficult to understand for a child, and as such, they were completely lost on her.

"I won't be a housewife, mother," Tsuki said, staring at the ground. No matter how bold she usually was, she could never quite meet her mother's cold eyes. "No matter how noble or important you make it out to be."

Ayano didn't answer immediately, choosing instead to stare at the small, kneeling form next to her. Hard to believe the almost cowering child was the same who went running into her father's legs whenever she'd get in trouble or someone had displeased her, the same one who'd actually decided to prank the Hyuuga elders and gotten away with it, the same who could still hold on to her desires with an iron will while not having the courage to look her in the eyes. On some level, Ayano enjoyed this display of submission from the child, even if only in appearance. The Hatori matriarch still held some authority over her, if not the one she actually desired. She directly blamed her father for that.

"…It seems I was mistaken," she eventually said, shaking her head. "You are still too much of a child to understand. We shall discuss this again in a few years."

Tsuki bristled internally, but otherwise didn't dare argue with her, electing instead to bow before rising and taking her leave. The discussion hadn't lasted that long, but the child no longer felt any desire to train after this. How could her mother manage to make her feel so bad about her choices with only a few words? In front of anyone else she could defend her dream and wishes with ease, but when she put them into doubt…suddenly her throat closed up and except from whispering her decision, she could not defend it. And she always walked away from these talks feeling like the naïve, stupid child she _knew_ she wasn't. Ayano had a way of getting under her skin no one else had, and the child was powerless to rob her of that power she held. She could only deal with it.

But why couldn't she simply accept her choice in career? Why couldn't she accept her husband's choice to allow girls to train and become kunoichis –even though right now, only she was training as such? Why couldn't she support her, or at least stay quiet on the matter? She didn't need to have her self-esteem shot down whenever it rose slightly higher than normal. And she certainly didn't need to bear the expectations of someone else on her back, just because she came from a powerful clan. She wondered how Sasuke did it, sometimes. He always looked so proud and strong, but if she never spoke of how hard it was, then she was pretty sure her friend hid it, too. And if he didn't want to talk about it, then she certainly couldn't seek his help, but whom else could she talk to? Her father already knew and didn't really take Ayano's words seriously; Iruka-sensei was powerless because he wasn't her guardian, the maids sided with her mother, and her friend didn't want to-

Hold on.

A slow smile crept on Tsuki's lips, hidden in the shadows of the empty halls.

_One_ of her friends wouldn't want to talk about how his elders could be wrong.

The other one certainly wasn't as reserved.

Naruto would probably be elated to hear her complain about the grown-ups, and she'd have someone to talk to, even if she doubted the usefulness of his input. He wouldn't be alone, she would be able to vent and on top it would be like sticking her figurative middle finger in her mother's face. Because she sure as hell wasn't ever going to do it for real, she liked her bottom the way it was, thank you very much.

Nodding to herself, Tsuki swiftly changed direction in order to head out the door. She had no idea what Naruto usually did in his free time, but whatever it was, he was going to have to make time for her. She doubted he even had anyone to spend time with.

It was what friends did, after all.


	4. Introspection and stupid decisions

Brushes of Loneliness

So, I guess I've been found out. I actually have no excuses for not updating save that I'm too lazy for my own good. Can I still say I have homework? Because I do. Really. And it's going to take some time to do it all.

Anyway, a lot of thinking on Tsuki's part here. There are some things I want to clarify.

As I said before, Tsuki's still a brat. She's still going to make stupid decisions, apologize to the wrong people, seek approval from the bad people. And Sasuke isn't really helping here, he's got other things on his mind (can you tell the Uchiha massacre is coming closer? Yes it is). Is it obvious I don't really like him? The version of him here is a lot brattier (is that even a word?) and detached. He's actually already closer to his future self in some ways.

By the way, they're supposed to be eight. Yet they clearly speak like they're much older. Sorry.

After reading this chapter, you've got pretty much all the clues to find out something essential to the plot and related to Tsuki. I'm not telling what, let's see who gets it~ I'm offering a oneshot of your choice to the one who guesses right.

Enjoy~

XxxX~Chapter 4: Introspection and stupid decisions ~XxxX

"Grown-ups are odd. Who would not want to be a ninja? It's awesome!"

The other, dark-haired child sighed quietly.

"Not quite what I would have said, but sort of. I don't want to be like her." Naruto shrugged.

"Then don't. Why should you listen to her?" Tsuki sweat-dropped.

"Uh, because she's my mother? She's supposed to look out for me? That's what moth-"

"...Oh."

Tsuki cut herself off abruptly, sensing she was not supposed to go on. She did not know why, not yet; she was not close enough to him, not sensible enough to others' sorrows to know she stopped because speaking of parents caused her new blond friend pain. She was not quite ready yet to start truly caring, wholly and knowingly, for someone who wasn't as skilled as she was. Not yet. But she was learning, though she didn't know it. And she was getting better.

"…You know, you called her Ayano, not mom. Why?"

Tsuki paused. That was…a smart reflexion. She didn't think Naruto was capable of such perceptiveness.

"I…a habit?" She replied carefully. "I never really call her mom in my head…mother, sometimes and when I address her, but never mom." Truthfully, it had never quite bothered her until now. It just felt right.

"Must be nice," Naruto eventually said, laying back down on the grass beside her, "to have someone who cares about you like that." His friend huffed in annoyance.

"Not really. She's always criticizing me, judging what I do, always disapproving…sometimes I wish she was just gone," she said carelessly, missing how her friend stiffened beside her. "My life would be much easier if she weren't there. If it wasn't for my dad…" Tsuki paused again. "…I don't know what I'd do without him."

"What's he like?" Naruto prompted, guarded. "Your dad?"

"He's really supportive," she replied, a grin blooming on her face. "And he helps me a lot, when he's not busy. Did you know women in my clan aren't supposed to become kunoichi? I can be one because he said I could." She exclaimed proudly. Naruto frowned.

"Girls can't become ninjas? Why?" Tsuki shrugged.

"Something about keeping the house orderly and the clan strong. I don't really know, I never really listened to what Ayano said about it." The boy suddenly straightened and stood, mischief in his eyes. This couldn't bode well. She hadn't known him for that long, but by, now she knew enough. And, indeed, he didn't disappoint.

"Let's go paint your house in red!"

Tsuki stared at him unblinkingly, wondering from where this new, sudden idiotic thought came from. "Then she'll see if having a house in order is so important!"

When it finally registered what he was suggesting, alarms bells went off in her head. She shot to her feet as he was already running down the street.

"Naruto! Wait!" but he was already further ahead, and while she didn't know where he'd find the paint, she had no doubt he would find some. After all, when had the last clean-up of the Hokage monument occurred? Not too long ago. He probably had leftovers from the incident. But, no matter; she had to catch him before, and since she was faster than him, it couldn't be too hard. She chased after him until they reached the streets, and Tsuki quickly tried to find somewhere to catch him…there. Nice, empty, wide street. Easiest place for an interception.

Tensing in anticipation, Tsuki started to run faster and braced herself for the jump. As soon as her not-quite-friend crossed the street, the small child shot forwards, tackling him to the ground as she did. But she misjudged the distance, and instead of coming to a stop in the empty alley, they both crashed to the side, and straight into a man's stand.

An angry man's stand.

Planks and broken glasses rained down on both of them, a yelp escaping her as her fragile skin made contact with the sharp shards. A few droplets of blood escaped the wound before they both managed to roll to a stop, covered in dirt and various other objects. But their relief at having stopped was short-lived.

"You brats!"

Tsuki gazed up at once, blue eyes blinking slowly upon facing on the owner of the stand they'd just destroyed. There was a short, formal apology and a promise to repay him on the tip of her tongue, but she never got to say the words she so seldom deemed necessary. For in an instant, the man's eyes had shifted from her to Naruto, and if she'd thought he was angry before, after seeing her small companion, the man looked downright murderous.

"You damn demon! You should have never been allowed to stay here!"

Before either her or Naruto could react, the shopkeeper had taken a hold of a glass bottle, miraculously whole, and threw it with all his might at the blond child. Tsuki could only watch as Naruto, still disorientated, barely got the time to raise his arms to protect his head. The bottle crashed and shattered against his hands, the vicious shards tearing his sleeves and drawing blood. Not a sound escaped the blond's lips save a very quiet gasp of pain.

And there, for the second time in her very short life, Tsuki doesn't understand what comes over her.

But the blood, oh the blood, flowing freely down his arms, the angry, unrepentant shouts of the man, the bystanders' indifference, Naruto's painful moans…Something in her snaps, though this time, she knows exactly why she stands up and glares at the man. She knows what's happening is not right. They don't deserve to be pelted by glass shards!

"Hey!" she screeches at the top of her lungs. "Stop at once! What do you think you're doing!?"

But there is one point she doesn't quite understand in her short, angry speech. In the compound, or even in the Academy…she is virtually untouchable. Because should anyone lay a hand on her, they'd face her clan's retribution, her father's anger, and few among the shinobi ever dared to face it. But this man, this civilian, he didn't know. He didn't care. If he could hit a defenseless child without a second thought, parents aren't going to stop him.

As such, when the man turns around, he is not deterred in the slightest. Too angry to see, or perhaps not caring, he whips a wooden plank out from the pile of debris and strikes. Tsuki sees it happening.

But she cannot react.

For the life of her, she cannot react.

She goes from angry to confused to scared in the span of a second, as she realizes the man's intent. As she realizes he plans on striking her, her, the Hatori heiress. It isn't a sparring match, it isn't a training exercise, the man is not an enemy.

But he dares strike her.

The invisible, protective bubble she's always worn with pride and arrogance shatters into nothingness with the realization her status isn't infallible.

With the realization a title is nothing if it remains unacknowledged. Unseen.

It means nothing.

She means nothing.

But she can't ponder the thought anymore as the wood comes for her face at once. She can only stare in anguish and brace herself for the paint that is to come.

Except…it never does. She can't react, but she can see, and before the terrible instant there is a blond blur in front of her, and the sound of the plank hitting her blonde friend is one which will echo in her head for years to come.

"Get lost, brats!"

Naruto can barely stand, and she's still in shock of what almost happened -of what did happen. She doesn't quite know what to do, she's never been faced with such a situation before. But her instincts and her training kick in at the right time; there is danger here, in the street, near this man, and they cannot face him. With all the strength in her small body, Tsuki helps her friend stand and she does her best to dash away from the street, to somewhere safe. Naruto's bleeding, she's bleeding, and not a single adult on the street look ready to help them.

Was the world really so cruel, when you stared at it from beyond the glass bubble she'd always lived in until now..?

It is something she decides to ponder on later, when her friend is back to his cheerful, stupid self, and she's no longer plagued by the smell of blood coming from her clothes and the image of that plank ready to hit her head on. She shivers as the noise of the streets can't quite block out the one of Naruto getting hurt.

For her, and she's pretty sure he didn't do it because she's the Hatori heiress.

Yet another thing she's going to think upon once they're ok.

Fortunately, it seemed she wouldn't have to wait much longer for that.

"…Tsuki?"

She whirled around, relief flooding her at the friendly sight of Yuki, the kind woman from the Uchiha clan who gave her a set of pencils so long ago. When did she last draw something, by the way? She can't remember. But she'd quite often spent afternoons at her home, drinking tea with her and talking about anything and everything. The woman had made it clear she was always welcome in her home, though lately she hadn't been around that much.

"Yuki! Thank god you're here -can you help us? Naruto's hurt!"

The woman glanced at her, sharply checking her for injuries, worry evident in her trademark Uchiha black eyes. The child gazed back at her with undisguised hope, fear and plea, and Yuki found herself angry at whoever hurt the child. Who had dared? She was going to give them a piece of her mind!...but then, after finding no deep injuries on the little girl, her eyes strayed to the precious cargo leaning on her frail shoulders.

"Isn't that…Uzumaki..?" Yuki tensed at once, alarmed, and took half a step forwards to try and separate the sweet child from…the demon spawn, protectiveness surging within her. There's wariness, disapproval and contempt all rolled into those few words she utters, blind as she is to the obvious care the child takes in handling the blonde boy. Tsuki's temper is short; she's confused, worried (though she wouldn't admit it), she's been almost hit, her life-beliefs have been shaken twice in ten minutes, she still hasn't figured out where she's wrong, she's witnessed adults refusing to protect a child -and now this?

Too much.

"_What the HELL is wrong with you people!?_"

The child screamed at the top of her lungs, and Yuki immediately retreated a few steps, stunned beyond belief. But Tsuki wasn't quite done yet.

"We're bloody CHILDREN! How can you watch him get hurt and stand by like nothing's wrong!? How can you even ALLOW it to happen!? It's your goddamn JOB to protect us! So why, why…" she heaved, out of breath, and her lips started wobbling as her eyes welled up with tears. "Why are you allowing this..? Why don't you do anything..?"

Yuki wasn't quite sure how to react. She'd known Tsuki for a while now and she deeply cared for her, having no children at home; the child was nothing if not polite -at least to those she considered her equals. So why was she hanging around Naruto, of all people? And how had she ended up wounded in the first place? The woman eventually tamed down her desire to protect the child. Now was not the time to try and understand, and if she was reluctant to help the de- Uzumaki, she couldn't say no to whatever Tsuki might ask of her. Even helping the brat.

"Come, then, sweetie," she said quietly, and Tsuki's head snapped up, wide eyes shining with unabashed hope. "The hospital isn't much further away."

The trip there is quiet, uneventful. At one point Yuki, despite her reluctance but eventually deciding she couldn't let Tsuki carry the brat alone, takes Naruto on her back. The dark-haired child trails slowly after her, her head down but glancing up at her friend in frequent intervals, her unease and worry rising with each, barely-there breath he drew. Her emotions are clouding her minds and she cannot think about anything else but the blond and the blood steadily dripping down his head and the cuts on his arms. It is only when, at last, the small girl sat on the waiting chair, a medic-nin having already taken care of the small wounds in her arms, that she can think properly again. She was grateful for Yuki's presence; the woman called herself her mother in front of the medic with a happy smile, which meant none of it should reach the ears of her father. She'd be safe on this part, hopefully. She wasn't quite ready for the defying-orders-by-befriending-but-growing-to-care-for-Naruto to end just yet. Not until she understands just what the hell is going on with her.

She knows right from wrong -or at least, she thinks she does. But lately, she's found things in her which contradicts each other.

Hitting a defenseless child is wrong.

Insulting a defenseless child is wrong.

The others are beneath her and she shouldn't bother with them.

But then, does that means she's supposed to let the others be hit and insulted without reacting? Is she supposed to -what, ignore it?

But then she'd be in the wrong. She'd be doing the bad thing. If the right thing is to help them, then she's wrong. And if she's wrong on this matter…what else is wrong?

Are her parents wrong?

She's never seen either of them harming defenseless people, but then again, she's never seen them protecting them either. Does that mean they would just walk away? If they'd been there in the street, watching Naruto get hurts…would they have stood by and done nothing? Would they have hit him, just like the shopkeeper? Would they have _enjoyed_ hurting Naruto?

And why did she care so much?

The child frowned. She was clear to go home, but -she'd stayed here. An unconscious part of her was waiting for Naruto. Why? _Because he protected you_, a little voice whispers in her mind. _Because he deserves to have someone waiting for him, worrying for him -making sure he's alright. You know what's happening to him is unfair and wrong. The question is, what will you do with it?_

What to do, indeed.

Naruto being hurt like that was unfair and wrong, she couldn't argue that point. But…

But she'd been hurt, too. Just for being with Naruto. That shopkeeper hadn't respected her, had dared to hurt her, as though the blonde's presence rendered her title void and useless. As though when she was with him, she no longer existed. She was no different than him. A nameless brat with no family, no friends, no value, hated and despised and left behind by everyone who mattered. When she was with him, she was alone. She was no one.

Tsuki stiffened at the thought, and her eyes darkened. She was _not_ no one. She was the Hatori heiress. She was the daughter of Hatori Tsubaki. She deserved respect. She deserved to be acknowledged. To be protected. To be addressed and viewed as an important person.

She was not to be despised and hated and unloved and, and…alone.

Alone.

Alone.

The word echoes in her head, sharp and vicious and terrifying.

Alone.

A small light standing alone in a dark, dark world. Left in a corner as the others pass her by, indifferent, uncaring. Civilians, shinobis, servants, maids, her own mother…She remembers. A great part of her, a deeply _buried_ part of her, remembers.

She remembers being two, and crying endlessly inside her crib for warmth and comfort which would never come. She remembers eyes, eyes cold and dark which should have loved her, but never did. She remembers arms, caring arms, which only held her once before vanishing, never to be felt again. Never to hold her again.

She remembers the loneliness and the doubt plaguing her mind as she wondered why no one seemed to notice her, to want to be near her, hold her and soothe her pain. She remembers it all, but she could never understand. She knows she never will. But as she grows slightly older, she catches the whispers of the maids in the halls, when they think she isn't listening, not caring if she is. She catches words she should never have, and they bring a revelation she refuses to acknowledge consciously, a revelation which confuses her and tears apart the one part of her who can understand.

Mistake.

Unwanted.

Unneeded.

She doesn't fully understand what it means, but it hurts. And she is a smart child, she puts two and two together and gets four. She knows those three words are related to the cold which has gotten a hold of her life. She knows it is the reason for the whispers in the halls, the lack of comfort when she cries, the lack of sweet lullabies putting her to sleep. Her father is barely there through it all; he doesn't exude the same cold as the others, but his every move towards her feels like heavy rain, when the sky opens and weeps for a tragedy the earth cannot understand. She will never understand.

But she doesn't have to stand by and let it happen.

She meets another dark-haired child, one day. The tall, tall man beside him is cold too, but the woman is warm. It's a warmth she suddenly craves but doesn't know how to get. She's begged and cried and pleaded, but it has yielded no result. None at all.

And as she watches the child, watches how he screams, vocal, and everything is immediately given to him -she understands what she has to do. And she is a child, she doesn't question it. She doesn't know it will lead to her shattering in a thousand pieces, a few years down the road. Crying and begging did not work? Fine.

She was going to _demand_ it.

Anything so she doesn't stay in the darkness, in the suffocating empty world the others are leaving her in. She's seen the light. She's felt the warmth.

Why shouldn't she have it?

She starts with her father. Starts sticking to him whenever he's there, demanding his attention and diverting him from whatever he feels when he sees her. And it works. He starts coming home more, spending time with her, taking her in his arms. He starts giving her the warmth she craves. He starts loving her. And with him, the maids and servants follow -they start taking care of her, comforting her, reading her bedtime stories and singing lullabies, even though a tiny part of her knows it is not the same. She's not old enough to acknowledge it -she doesn't want to. The word she's looking for is _genuine_ -it's everything the maids' love isn't. Everything her mother, everything _Ayano_ isn't.

When she demands Ayano's love the way she gives it to her brother, all she gets is harshness and violence and the terrible feeling she should have never been born.

She quickly decides indifference is better, and she stops trying. And though years go by and she's surrounded by love, real or fake, she doesn't allow herself to dwell on it, to dwell on what she's felt the first few years of her life. She doesn't allow herself to remember the pain and the loneliness and the cold and the dark. She doesn't allow herself to acknowledge it's probably what Naruto's feeling.

But she does remember how it feels. And she'd do anything to never feel it again.

And if she has to be wrong to be warm…to be cruel not to be alone…so be it.

She can live with that.

It's what she keeps telling herself as she leaves the hospital, leaving beautiful, utterly _shattered_ cerulean eyes behind.

She's too much of a coward to look back.

XxxX

Uchiha Sasuke was…on edge. Because Uchihas did not get anxious or worried. No, Uchihas kept their cool regardless of the situation, they thought about it and they found the right way to correct it. They did not worry, but they could be on edge, they could be tense. And Uchiha Sasuke definitely was.

Left, left, right, down and right again. He didn't even take pleasure in how he so victoriously defeated his opponent, the only one who could usually keep up with him. But the little girl stands back up and they start again.

The boy almost can't remember the last time his big brother has deigned training with him, and from the altercation just yesterday, he knows something is up with Itachi, but he has no idea why. And he has no way of knowing, either. He'd tried tailing his brother, but had lost him not a minute in his chase. He'd tried asking his parents, but had gotten evasive answers. And the clan members only ever insulted his beloved older brother, now. Things had changed.

But they had started changing for a while, now. They'd descended into something he did not understand, and he hated it.

And his partner was of no help whatsoever!

"Will you focus?" he eventually snapped, annoyed. "Keep that up and I'm switching partners."

"…sorry," is the only reply he receives as Tsuki gets back in position, kunai raised but eyes going to something behind him, something in the group of their classmates. Sasuke moves forwards, and though she deflects it, she is still too slow. Their kunai clash in a flurry of movements most of their classmates can't catch, but Tsuki has it all wrong. She misses her parry, is too slow to raise her arm, and Sasuke is relentless, merciless. He comes at her with all he has, frustrated by his lack of progress regarding his older brother, his anger at her lack of focus and the slightest hint of bitter resentment. Towards who, he doesn't know and can't bring himself to care. One sharp, fluent come back she doesn't expect and the Hatori heiress is down, winded, and bruised. Sasuke only scowls down at her.

"Keep that up and you're not training with me after class."

Tsuki snaps out of it at his words and straightens. But not in the correct position. Instead of crouching slightly, right arm spread wide above her and left in a protective manner in front of her chest, ready to strike, the young child stands straight and bites her lips, gazing at the ground in silent torment. Her eyes keep shifting, her fingers twitch, and while these unusual signs would have Sasuke raising an eyebrow in concern any other day, today his patience is thin and his temper flares. He scowls once more and his aura darkens with his mood; Tsuki senses the shift, and it has her speaking at once.

"I stopped hanging with Naruto," she blurts out clumsily. It isn't what she wanted to say, not first. But Sasuke was impatient and he would not stand it if she kept beating around the bush.

As she expected, her friend only shrugs.

"Good riddance. I don't get why you insisted on hanging around that loser." Tsuki crosses her arms, guilt etched deeply onto her delicate features.

"I told you before. Because father forbade it. But that's beside the point," she says, pained.

"Then what. Is. It?" _Losing patience already, huh_. She swallowed.

"The point is that I feel guilty, and I don't know _why_ I feel guilty." Sasuke scoffed.

"How do you expect me to know what's going on in your head?" he asks, blunt and obviously barely interested. With a sinking feeling, Tsuki starts to realize her friend will be of no help to her. Had she paid the slightest attention to his reactions, she would have noticed he was easily as preoccupied as she was. She would have noticed he was in no shape to give advice and would have left him alone until he was better. But she didn't see it, neither did he, and their bad mood led exactly where it was bound to. Tsuki scowled.

"I don't know, you're my friend! You're supposed to give me your opinion!"

"Well I'm giving it. You're crazy, go get your head checked."

"Sasuke!"

"Look at the facts," he argued, crossing his arms. "You suck today. You're sloppy, slow, unfocused and being difficult. You're not you and it's affecting your judgement, giving you crazy ideas."

"I'm sloppy _because_ I feel guilty, not the other way around! Do you even think sometimes, dumbass!?"

"Obviously more than you do," he almost snarled, offended. "I'm not the one being weaker than Naruto. Maybe all that time with him has influenced you and now you're an idiotic moron, too." Tsuki bristled, closing her fist.

"_I'm_ an idiotic moron? At least my hair doesn't look like a chicken's butt!" Sasuke seethed.

"My hair does not look like a chicken's butt! You're just jealous I'm better than you!"

"You wish!"

"You ate dirt in all our spars!"

"Because I was distracted!"

"Because you suck! You're weaker than a civilian!"

"if I'm so weak, then maybe you should train alone!" Tsuki eventually screamed, cheeks flushed in anger. "Or better yet, bring a mirror, this way you can train with the only person who matters to you -your dumb self!"

"It would always be better than training with a weak, pathetic spoilt little princess!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"You'll always be a stupid, stuck-up Uchiha brat! I wonder how your family can stand you!"

"At least I have a family who cares!"

Tsuki physically recoiled, struck dumb and frozen in shock. Sasuke either did not notice or didn't care, electing instead to gather his belongings and head out towards Iruka, gathering his students and ushering them towards the Academy where their parents waited. He did not glance backwards, not even once. The small girl closed her eyes, suddenly hating herself for the burning she could feel behind her eyelids, and she turned away from him, as though creating a barrier between him and his terrible truths. _That was low, Sasuke. Even for you_. But he did not turn, did not stop and did not apologize. That was one argument she had not seen coming, had not braced herself for. There had always been a deep, unspoken rule between them: they were sparring partners first, friends second. They did not exactly confide in each other, they stayed out of the other's business. They didn't hurt each other, not verbally. And Sasuke was always very fond on following the rules. The very fact he so easily broke it…it spoke of something being wrong. Terribly wrong. But she didn't know what, and more important, she was in no state to take a guess.

On the way home, though she tried as best as she could to ignore it, his words kept echoing in her ears. At least I have a family who cares. She'd never told him how much it hurt her, that Ayano did not care about her. That her mother couldn't care less whether she lived or died, if she'd done good at the Academy, if she'd gotten injured…She did not care. And she'd never told Sasuke it bothered her, he'd just taken a guess and ended up hitting the bull's eye. Not that she expected any less of him.

Try as she might, she couldn't shake herself out of it. She couldn't shake the hurt Ayano's indifference brought her. Couldn't shake the part of her which still desperately craved Ayano's warmth, approval, love, the way a dying man in the desert craves the water which can save him. But she was torn, torn beyond repair, beyond what could be fixed. She had her father's love, her father's approval, her father's warmth. All of this, only because she'd decided to become a kunoichi. But if she sought to earn Ayano's proud gaze upon her small form, she would have to give it up, the one thing which brought her joy. She could not renounce it, not when it meant turning her back on her father and her own happiness. She could not reconcile the two. She could not have both. She had her father on her side, and it had to be enough, even if it wasn't. Even if he was barely home.

Even if his love was split between her brother and her, while her brother had all of their mother's love and she none. She could not have both. She had come to terms with it a while ago.

It did not mean it did not hurt like hell when Sasuke's poisonous words destroyed her anger and brought with them nothing but shock and pain. It did not mean she would not cry herself to sleep tonight, both from the abrupt betrayal of her friend and her own. She still hadn't clarified why she felt guilty.

But when she met her own, tearful blue eyes in the mirror that night, she was eerily reminded of another pair of deep blue eyes, tearful and shattered and betrayed.

A tiny part of her wondered if Sasuke followed the loop and felt guilty in turn.

A stronger part told her he didn't.

XxxX

Review~


	5. Souls of Glass 1

Brushes of Loneliness

You have no idea how much I struggled to get this done. The Hatori's two parts was easy, but of everything I've written so far, Naruto's part was actually the hardest, and I still don't like the way it turned out, nor the way the chapter ends.

I had, at first, planned for it to go this way: a part on Tsuki, a part on Ayano/Tsubaki, a part on Naruto and a last on Sasuke discovering the compound in ruins, with Tsuki's reaction to the Uchiha massacre. But due to the way I wrote the first part, I was unable to find a right transition and I didn't want to change it, so I'm blatantly going to cheat by dividing this chapter in two shorter parts. Sorry!

It may looks as if nothing happens in this chapter. That is because the crucial part actually centers on the Hatori couple, and either you've picked up the clues and it's a major revelation, or you haven't and that means I should have made it more obvious. Drop a review about it?

Author Note on Hatori Tsubaki at the bottom, for those who don't want spoilers before reading.

Enjoy~

XxxX~Chapter 5: Souls of glass ~XxxX

Her pen is slow as it moves on the page, ink sometimes dribbling down its pointed tip and right on her drawing, marring it with dark splotches. She can't bring herself to care; they seemed to fit right in with her mood as she gazes down in silence, staring endlessly at the sorrowful lines she's trying to sketch. Whenever the mood struck her, she liked to sprawl herself on her stomach, right in the middle of the hall, and stare at the artful lines she could produce, amazed and proud beyond belief of that one skill which, while useless for a ninja, still made her better than anyone else. She loved finding that reluctant respect and admiration in the maids' eyes, loved how much like everything else she did, it brought her the reverence and awe she rightfully deserved. That and, curiously enough, this was perhaps the one skill Ayano actually encouraged her to practice and better. Not that she actually drew for her, of course. Not at all. Not the tiniest bit. Because she definitely did not crave her mother's approval, nope, no way. But today, of all days, was different.

Today saw Tsuki curled up on her side, a pen loosely held in her right hand as she drew on the notebook in front of her, staring at it sideways in silent sorrow. The windows of her room are wide open, leaving a stream of light to brighten her room, if not her mood. Not a week ago, the hour would have seen her sparing with Sasuke, bettering her skills and sharing their mutual dislike for their slow and dumb classmates. But ever since their clash three days ago, the Uchiha had kept his distance, seemingly in a perpetually foul mood she had not dared approach. And he had made no move to apologize for his incredibly hurtful comment the day before, not even in his subtle, I-won't-say-I-am-sorry-but-you-can-tell-I-am prideful Uchiha way. The Hatori heiress didn't know where she stood with him anymore, and seeing as he'd been, when she actually thought about it, her only friend…it left her feeling lonely, rejected. And she hadn't even done anything wrong.

Wide, sorrowful eyes met hers on her sketch, and she turned herself away, tears prickling at the corner of her eyes. Sasuke wasn't the only source of her misery; Uzumaki Naruto was the other, bigger, bleeding half of it. She'd been convinced her decision to distance herself from him had been the right one. Rejection was not something she took to easily, and self-preservation always came first. He was not worth trading her comfortable lifestyle, respect and admiration she had for. He was not, of that she was certain. But it was neither easy nor comfortable, and it left a bad taste in her mouth and heart, if the sketch she'd absent-mindedly drawn was any indication. She had not lied to Sasuke, telling him she felt guilty. But she knew why she felt this way. Because this was exactly what Sasuke had done to her, and you did not abandon the people you'd started to care about without feeling the slightest bit guilty afterwards. That had been her big revelation of the day, too.

Somewhere along the way, she'd grown to care for the blond brat. His goofy smile, his playful disposition, the depth of his cerulean eyes…there was just something that drew her to him, she didn't know what. It felt like an echo, like something she knew so intimately within herself had been reflected in his behavior, his voice, his thoughts. As though they had been twins, born on two sides of the mirror, two sides of the same coin. And if they were, and _felt,_ so similar, it made her wonder. How alike were they? Did people actually talk in her back the way they did to Naruto's face? Did they smile when she walked by, only to sneer and curse when she turned away? Or was their disdain artfully masked, hidden away beneath layers upon layers of fake admiration and respect? _But Sasuke respects you_, a little voice whispered in her mind. _So does your father. Yuki-san. Iruka-sensei. You're not as alone as he is. You have people who care._ Tsuki gazed back at her drawing with uncertain eyes. The ink had fallen down her pen and straight onto the corner of the orbs etched on the page, and then proceeded to roll away to the bottom, leaving a dark trail in his wake. Almost like a broken tear, falling down a broken face from a broken gaze, and her heart gave a tiny crack within her chest.

Abandoning Naruto had been the _logical_ decision, not the _right_ one.

But she wouldn't go back on it.

The child buried her face in her arms and cried.

XxxX

Hatori Tsubaki was worried.

It did not happen quite often. The clan head was usually calm and collected, strong and level-headed, quite helpful features which enabled him to take the best decisions without letting his feelings influence him, and lead the clan with a strong and steady hand. Tsubaki usually did not worry simply because he trusted himself enough to know he could handle whatever could worry him. Be it enemy ninjas, council members, his cunning wife or even his rebellious son, all of them he could handle neatly with his arms crossed.

His eight years old daughter, however, was in a league of her own and an infinitely more complicated matter. Tsukiko usually did not worry him; she was respectful, discrete, perhaps a tad bit arrogant and pompous, but it came with her age. She had never quite given him white hairs the way her brother's stunts had, and he had been glad for it. Whereas Sora was rash and reckless, prone to the impulsiveness of youth, Tsukiko had always been quiet and obedient, never raising her voice, never throwing a tantrum of anything of the likes. Thus, Tsubaki had never before actually worried he couldn't handle her, simply because she'd never been trying to worry him. Her anger, however rare it was, he could handle. Her capricious desires, same. Even her stubbornness.

But the sheer sorrow and emotional _pain_ he could feel in her room?

Now _that_ worried him.

He did not have the slightest clue when it came to female's emotional well-being. There had been one, long ago, he could decipher easily, but that time had long come and gone and withered in Time's merciless flow, not that he'd done anything to preserve it, as he had agreed to. And now, he found himself in need of dealing with his daughter's sorrowful and thoroughly unusual mood, alone, without the slightest idea what to do. Training with her had done nothing to abate her mood, and neither had chakra training, kunais, clan techniques, anything he could think of. None had worked like they did on Sora, and he was fairly certain he couldn't cheer his daughter up the way he did with his son. It just wouldn't work, for they weren't the same.

The clan head found himself tapping his fingers on the wood in front of him. He was arrogant at times, sure; but not to the point of refusing to acknowledge when he was in way over his head. Nothing quite scared him like the well of sadness emanating like a black cloud from the other side of the compound. It had never happened before, not even in a faction of what it currently was. Which meant it was big. Big and possibly not something he could solve by himself. Especially if he was leaving in a short few hours. As such, he'd been forced to call back-up.

Kneeling in the living-room, a steaming cup of tea laying untouched before him, he faced the very person he usually avoided like the plague.

"…She's _sad_, of all things, and _that_ has you worried?"

"And _you_ aren't?" Tsubaki scowled. "She's your daughter, you're _entitled_ to-"

"She's _your_ daughter." Ayano replied quietly. Her face remained neutral, void of emotion. Tsubaki's gaze became a glare, bearing a heavy warning not to cross the line. Ayano shrugged.

"A boy might have been mean to her, or she might have lower grades than she expected. It will pass."

"I don't care for the reason. I care that it stops."

Tsubaki tapped his fingers on the wood, still ignoring his cup, while his wife slowly raised hers to her lips to take a sip. How many times had they sat like this, but actually reversed? How many times had she come to him, begging for something he was unwilling to give, but duty-bound to? How many times had he still refused her, despite how he'd promised not to, to always care and cherish her and love her? Now look at them, look at him. _How the mighty have fallen_, she thought, the darkest part of her taking a deep satisfaction in seeing how low the great warrior had stooped, seeking _her_ help of all things. Now the roles were reversed. She was the one in control. She was the one in power. And it felt so good to deny him, for once.

"No, Tsubaki."

The clan head raised his head sharply.

"No? What do you mean, no?"

Ayano stared at him, hard. He was almost taken aback by the indifference of her sea green eyes.

"I won't go up there and try to cheer her up. I have other duties to attend to."

They faced each other in silence, tense on Tsubaki's part, relaxed and satisfied on Ayano's. The Hatori matriarch kept sipping her tea quietly, never shifting from her kneeling position, at ease and confident. Through half-lidded eyes, she hungrily drank in the slightly bent form in front of her, a giant of a man usually standing tall and regal and proud, now reduced to begging and lowering his head like a dog before her. It made her feel so, so powerful, in a way she hadn't felt since long before even Tsukiko's arrival. Possibly even before their wedding, even. The occasions to reclaim the slightest bit of the power she once held were so few and far in-between, she cherished every single one of them, however short they were. Knowing such a powerful man could be brought to bow before her, to bend to her will when he truly wanted something only she could give…it was exhilarating, and she savored every second, doing her best to make it last.

But even after nearly fifteen years of marriage, he could still surprise her.

"I'll sleep with you tonight."

Her satisfaction came to an abrupt end, shattered and doused in freezing water. Tsubaki wasn't even looking at her, having closed his eyes and clenched his fingers on his pants.

"I'll give you what you've always wanted. Everything. If you just-"

The cup was slammed onto the table so hard it cracked, and the clan head, reflexively leaned away, his dark eyes traveling from the breaking cup to the trembling fingers, and up to the closed-off face they belonged to. Ayano half-stood, long red hair falling down on each side of her face to hide her eyes. But the shaking of her shoulders and the sudden, angry swirl of her almost forgotten chakra flaring to life around her gave away all too well exactly how she felt. Tsubaki tensed at once, swallowing hard and gathering chakra to his feet just in case. He straightened the slightest bit, raising one leg to have a stronger chance to move should the woman decide to shift towards violence. Anything to leave the vicinity unscathed and unseen. But he had to at least try and calm her down.

"Ayano-"

"Get out."

Her voice had been quiet, controlled. She was deathly still, focused, as though slowly gaining control back over her eager chakra reserves. It gave him hope.

"Please, you just-"

The cup shattered under the weight of her furious fist, and the table gave a shuddering moan under the impact. Tiny cracks burst into existence all over the polished wood, a few splinters breaking her skin and leaving small droplets of blood on their path. Despite himself, Tsubaki took a half step away when furious, stormy green eyes finally left the ground to pin him in place with the weight of their wrath.

"You _dare_," she snarled, "offering _this_ in exchange!? You dare even _think_ I would accept!? _Who do you bloody think I am!?"_

Her voice went higher and louder with each word until she was no longer speaking, but yelling to his face. Tsubaki made no move to answer, sensing she wasn't done.

"I am the Hatori Matriarch. I am the one holding this whole clan together, and before you married me, I was one of the most skilled kunoichis of my generation, the most discrete and deadly. I love you and I _care_, too, but I would never sacrifice my own _dignity_ for something as trivial as a passing sadness."

Her voice suddenly got softer as she stared at him, her eyes filling with a deep sorrow which had him turning away, unable to meet her eyes, "…And even if I did, I would never quite insult you so by believing you would accept it."

She turned away from him, feeling the weakness of her voice and hating herself for it. Her husband still had not made a move, but she knew he'd gotten the message. He wouldn't even dignify her speech with an answer; he'd just walk away with his head held high, pretending as he always did she had not made an impact on him. That he was still the strong, perfect clan head the others knew him as. No one would ever see this side of him, the side which thought so low of others, who never bothered to get to know them, to acknowledge their feelings and strive to redeem himself in their eyes. They would never know this selfish, indifferent side of him. Only she was cursed to endure it. Only she knew, cursed as she was to never breathe a word about it, for even she would not stoop so low. Even if he certainly had no qualms about it, had no qualms about exploiting her weaknesses to try and get what he wanted from her.

Because it meant nothing to him, she knew. He didn't like it, but it left him quite indifferent and it was the very reason she would never accept it. She had enough of his indifference in her days, she didn't need it in her nights, straight in the sanctuary of her bedroom, where she could reminisce in peace and remember when they were not this way. He would not taint her most precious memories with his careless disregard of her very self.

She had let him take many pieces of her, but this was one she would never be willing to give, even if he was all too happy to try and take it, all of it for a child's tears. The thought of her made her anger rise again, especially as she heard her husband finally shuffle away from her, towards the door. Her anger did not allow him to go so easily.

"You know, it just proves what I've been saying for years," she eventually said. "You never really knew me. And even now as the fact is staring you in the face…still you make no move to even try."

The footsteps had paused. And Tsubaki proceeded to stomp on what remained of her heart and discard it on the floor.

"I never wanted to."

The door closed on his last words and Ayano fell to her knees.

The woman buried her face in her arms and cried.

XxxX

The swings gently swayed in the wind, letting the small blonde's legs trail on the ground. Shallow lines his feet traced in the sand, but he didn't really notice, eyes transfixed on the academy door, watching as the future genin excitedly recalled their day to their loving parents, the laughs and praises echoing around him in an agonizing storm over his head. Even then, no child remained alone; the few who weren't caught in loving embraces talked with their friends, happily leaving everyone else behind as they took the path home. Home, where love and comfort awaited them, where they could eagerly await the next morning and to see their friends again.

Naruto closed his eyes and turned away from the sight, feeling like his heart was shattering again, in even smaller pieces than before. He hadn't known a heart could break so many times, could be fixed and be destroyed countless times, endlessly following the vicious circle of friendship and betrayal. And though it hurt, always, although the people who had yet to betray him were few, he did not stop trusting, did not stop giving his heart away -even to those who would step on it without a second thought. But it hadn't been the first time he'd trusted her, and she'd turned her back on him, was it? Tsuki was an odd person. One moment she was comforting him, even yelling at those who hurt him, and the next she was distant, or even gone. He didn't understand what was going on in her head, what thoughts could lead her to suddenly do a one-hundred-and-eighty degrees turn when it came to him. She certainly didn't seem to act this way towards Sasuke. But then, why? He couldn't recall a single thing he'd done wrong, a word he'd said, or anything that justified her leaving him. Maybe it was just him. Maybe she'd realized he was not worth her time, or that he was exactly the 'demon' the villagers accused him of being? He'd long since given up on understanding why the grown-ups resented him -safe a few- but no matter how hard he tried, he didn't understand her. At all.

And a deep, longing part of him kept hoping she'd eventually return and tell him she wanted to be his friend, for real. But it was a fool's hope, he knew. Unless she figured out whether she wanted to be with him or not, unless he figured out why she left…she wouldn't return, he would remain alone and lonely. And now that he'd finally started to know what having friends felt like…he craved it. But he could do nothing about it. Nothing at all.

Mechanically as the sun slowly lowered in the sky, Naruto left the deserted swings, hands buried deep in his pockets. All around him the people hurried home before the darkness of the night befell them, before they could allow the cold to settle in their bones and chill them to the core. But though he had a warm pull-over and the sun hadn't set yet, Naruto felt impossibly unable to warm up. The streets passed him by one by one, some already empty, others still the scene of the villagers' everyday life, as they took late strolls through their beautiful village or tidied up their shops in preparation for the next morning, ready to go on as they always did, not even pausing a single second to spare a thought on the quiet, for once discrete blonde child walking the streets. Some hurtled insults towards him, as usual; he barely listened. Even Ichiraku's enticing smell didn't register to him, lost as he was in his thoughts and the heavy cloud of his sorrow masking whatever joy and happiness he usually found in his life. He had nothing but his dream, nothing but his drive and his unshakable beliefs, but he was just a child, lonely, to whom most remained indifferent if they weren't nasty. His home was empty, cold; his path, too. How he longed for somebody to care, longed for somebody to understand…he'd thought Tsuki did, to a point; though she never said a thing. It was obvious to him, who had never known but harsh indifference. How the girl longed for her mother to acknowledge her the way he longed for the villagers'. How she gazed around the world trying to find a place she truly belonged, for she unconsciously felt she wasn't in the right place. How lonely and desperate, knowing all too well she was different, how she needed something she didn't even know, something no one was willing to give. He'd hoped they could be each other's salvation, each other's light in the darkness. But though the light stubbornly refused to shine on him…at least he still knew where he stood.

She didn't.

Tsuki thought she did, he knew. She was the Hatori heiress, training to become a kunoichi, friend with Sasuke, strong and confident in her skills…but she was always alone. Her father was gone most of the time, her mother didn't care for her, her classmates gave her a wide berth -she was alone. She was trying to be someone she wasn't, and she had yet to acknowledge it. She was desperately trying to reconcile her family's expectations with what, deep inside, she truly wanted from her life. But she could not have both. And since she was just starting to realize exactly what she wanted, but had always been taught to desire what she had been _taught_ to desire…she had rejected her personal desires to follow her clan, her family, even though she knew they were wrong. She was not yet strong enough, not yet lucid enough to understand, to fight and defy everything she'd ever been taught. They couldn't be friends, not yet.

Not until she finally decided to fight for them.

The thought that she did not want to felt like a punch to the gut -and he knew what _these_ felt like. Once more, once again, he'd been left alone by one who could have been a friend, one who might never become one. All because her family, the very thing he lacked, had willed it so. Did it give him more freedom than her? In more than one way, certainly. But the greater part of him still wished he could trade some of his freedom for the love she could have, but not him. At least it would make coming home bearable, warm, comforting; instead of walking into an empty, small apartment where no one waited for him, where there was no one to welcome him, to care for him and see if he was alright. His heart was a hole and no one was willing to chase its emptiness away. No one.

Alone, alone, alone.

Unwanted. Discarded. Unloved.

Under the now glowing light of the moon, alone in his empty life, Naruto buried his head in his arms and cried.

XxxX

**A/N: Hatori Tsubaki is, with Tsuki, the most complex character. Naruto is clear, Sasuke too, but the two Hatoris are lost in a sea of what they want, what they must do and what they can't do. Tsuki's a child, she doesn't know any better, and she has room for improvement; this, at least, is clear.**

**Tsubaki, on the other hand, is a lot more difficult, because he is an adult and fully aware of his choices and their consequences. I wonder how many of you understand what's actually going on? Like I said I kept dropping hints throughout the chapters, but I feel like I just wrote a giant neon sight screaming 'Surprise! Tsubaki is actually —'**

**There are many secrets within the Hatori clan, and few know of them all. If you solved the puzzle, know Tsubaki's not the only one to blame. The whole story has yet to be revealed, but I don't want to spoil it. I know he's a major jerk, but has his reasons, unclear as they may currently be.**

**Anyway, please review if you enjoyed it! Otherwise I can never know what I'm supposed to improve or what I should keep doing!**


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